Baby Sleep Answers

What is Normal Sleep?

2011-05-26T17:12:00.002Z

How much sleep do babies and toddlers need? The table below gives some average sleep times.

Age	Night-time Sleep	Daytime Sleep	No. of Naps	Total Sleep
Newborn 1 - 3 months	10	6	4 - 5	16 Hours*
3 - 6 months	10	4 - 5	3 - 4	15 Hours
6 - 18 months	11	2¾	1 - 2	13¾ Hours
18 months - 2 years	11	1¾	1	12¾ Hours

*Note: Very small babies will only sleep for 2-4 hours at a time

Remember these times are averages. Some children will sleep more, some will sleep less.

Introduction to the 3rd Edition of the Baby Sleep System

2011-05-26T15:24:00.000Z

The writing of this third edition of The Baby Sleep System finds me at a new point in my life. My four children are growing and have developed into fine, kind and independent little people. My company Baby Sleep Answers Ltd has been up and running for six years and my Team and I continue to help literally thousands of parents improve the quality of their children’s sleep. Despite time moving on, I can still remember that desperation I felt when my little one’s were babies – the constant pressure to be the perfect mum, to do everything “right” and the feeling of desolation and responsibility when all did not go according to plan. I have had the baby who wanted to breast feed 24/7. I’ve experienced the not knowing if he was crying because I wasn’t providing enough milk or just because he wanted to comfort suck. I felt the guilt when I decided to switch from breast to bottle when my premature twins were 12 weeks old – never mind that I had my work cut out with a 5 year old and a 3 year old as well – I still felt that I was letting them down. I have trudged the pavements of Derbyshire in the pouring rain for three hours in a desperate effort to get my child to nap. It was that or listen to him crying for hours on end out of tiredness at home. My husband has driven the car around unlit rural roads at 5am to get our son to sleep, only to see him through the rear view mirror, wake again the moment that he pulled up on the drive. I have sobbed when my Joseph’s reflux was so bad, that he took one hour to feed and then threw the entire bottle up in a projectile arch against the opposite wall.

Of course, looking back I have enjoyed (and continue to enjoy) the experience of motherhood – making my babies giggle; the first faltering steps; the Christmas nativity plays and their academic and sporting achievements. I am lucky enough to be told everyday “mummy, I love you”. I do still feel a bit cheated of those first what should have been really special weeks, with my first born though! The aim of this book and the website is to reach out to mums and dads with babies and toddlers in the early years and help them to enjoy their baby as much as they can possibly can as soon as they can. A good night’s sleep for all is a vital component in achieving this.

Social Media - Why can't I get it!

2011-05-25T11:35:00.002Z

I have been told by a number of people in the "know" that I should be engaging with Social Media. I am therefore trying to do so. This is not my first attempt! The last time that I joined the 21st Century by signing up to Face Book, my so called "friends" took to slagging my driving off - peculiar as some of them hadn't been in a car with me for 20 years. I lasted 2 weeks and deactivated myself.

Having made a few cock up's I now seem to have on Face Book a Wendy Dean Profile, a Baby Sleep System Group, a Baby Sleep Answers web page and a random slide called Baby Sleep (which I can't seem to delete). Not to be put off, I update them all with little sleep related ramblings, links to articles, this blog and success stories on the BSA Forum. As I don't understand any of it and only seem to have acquired 5 friends, I don't think anybody is reading my efforts - in a way its quite therapeutic though!

I have also started to Tweet. I don't think I have any followers so I am twittering to myself!

I am thinking of making some instructional videos to make my pages more interesting. However, I keep breaking out in a cold sweat when I think of my last film making experience. I was making an introductory video for Pampers on the day of the student riots. I kept having to stop because of police helicopters, screaming students and the final straw - police horses cantering down the street outside the window. I was a gibbering wreck by the end of the day. I was going to link to the video to show you the final result, but it seems to have disappeared.

OOh, my email inbox has just alerted me to the fact that articleinfo is now following me. Is that good?

Dropping a Night Feed

2011-05-24T13:20:00.002Z

"Is my baby ready to drop night feeds?" is one of the most common questions that I am asked. In summary, your baby is likely to be ready if:

1. They are over 4 months old, in a 4 hourly daytime feeding routine and still waking twice or more for a feed.
2. Is on 3 meals a day, but still feeding through the night.
3. Drinks a small amount of formula or only breast feeds for 5-10 minutes at a time.

If one of the above applies then the likely explanation is that your baby is using the night feeds as a prop. How does s/he fall asleep at bedtime? If they are feeding to sleep, then that's the place to start! Change the bedtime routine so that the feed isn't the last action before bed. If s/he is waking regularly, start by maintaining a 4 hour feeding schedule and then you will be able to use milk reduction or a settling strategy from The Baby Sleep System to reduce and finally remove the other feeds. The important thing to keep in mind is that as long as the above applies, your baby will not be starving and it's as important to teach good sleep habits as to help him/her develop in other key areas.

Pampers Plant - Manchester

2011-05-24T13:04:00.002Z

As you may or may not, I am honoured to be a member of the Pampers Village Parenting Panel as their resident baby sleep expert . In that capacity I visited the Pampers Nappy Plant last week in Manchester. I have to say that whilst I was not necessarily anticipating an interesting day out, I was blown away! Here are the interesting facts that I gleaned from the day:

- No Pampers nappy is ever touched by a human hand until a mum opens the packet.

- Independent research has shown that a Pampers nappy is more ecologically sound than a washable nappy, unless this is used for 2 or more children and line dried (not an option here in the Peak District very often, I'm afraid).

- Proctor and Gamble is a great company to work for and they only ever promote from within. More than half the staff at the Plant had 20+ years service.

I have to say that all of the staff I have met - Catherine and Gillian in particular, are very lovely people and clearly very clever :)

Ultimately, I had a great day, feel even more confident about promoting Pamper's nappies as a fab product and found that the information I received really helped me advise mums and dads at the Baby Show the week after.

I have decided to blog again!

2011-05-24T12:58:00.002Z

It's been a while, but I have decided to re-open this blog and share my thoughts (interesting or not) with the BSA Community. Just need to check that this post works and then I will be off again with my frequent ramblings about baby's, family life and of course sleep.

Latest FSID advice on Dummy Use

2008-02-26T11:51:00.003Z

The Federation for the Study of Infant Death Syndrome (FSID) has recently issued some new advice regarding dummy use and the role of pacifiers in reducing cot death. As anyone who has used the Baby Sleep System knows, there are a large number of babies with serious sleep problems as a result of "dummy dependency". Baby falls asleep with his dummy and when he wakes briefly at night as he goes through his sleep cycle, he cries out for mum and dad to come and stick his dummy back in.

My advice is that provided the back to sleep advice is followed see http://www.babysleepanswers.co.uk/reducing-the-risk-of-cot-death.aspa there is no reason why a pacifier needs to be introduced to a baby after it is 12 weeks old. I also advise that any dummy is removed immediately before baby is put down for a nap or at bedtime. There is also no reason why a baby cannot be seperated from his dummy when he reaches 12 weeks of age. The only exceptions to this is where mum and/or dad smoke (whether in the house or not) , if they allow people to smoke in their house or if the baby is co-sleeping with the parents in their bed.

The new FSID recommendation also includes no mention at all of the downside of dummies including increased levels of sickness and infection as well as sleeping problems.

I expect we are going to see more dummy dependent babies on the Baby Sleep Answers Forum over the next few months!

Over 1000 baby's helped to sleep

2008-02-07T14:19:00.000Z

It seems a long time since I have updated this log! Life is busy and so is the website. I have just celebrated helping the 1000th baby sleep through the night. What a satisfying job I have.

The Forum continues to go from strength to strength and the recruitment of the "Dream Team" has been instrumental in that success. The 10 willing volunteers go well beyond the call of duty to try and help as many parents as possible. The team represents a broad range of mums who have used the Baby Sleep System and now have baby's who are sleeping well.

The website is currently being upgraded to cope with the increasing number of visitors. A new payment system is being devised so that PayPal can be dispensed with and the Baby Sleep System will be available on Amazon from April. The number of workshops that I am running is increasing and I am providing expert advice to a number of parenting magazines.

Most important of all though, is that the feedback questionnaires sent to all purchasers of theBaby Sleep System continue to confirm that people are pleased with the product and are recommending it to their friends.

Our Christmas Tree Looks Rubbish

2007-12-15T16:24:00.000Z

Well Christmas is here again. As usual Hub’s contribution has been zero. He seems to take the opportunity at this time of year to celebrate as much as possible whilst making the minimum amount of effort to do the things that make this family time of year special. He has to be fair, bought his own family presents (only because if he left it to me they wouldn’t get anything!). They will be receiving books from Amazon and chocolates from Thornton’s – exactly the same as last year, and the year before that, and the year before that!!!!). I doubt if he actually knows what we have bought our children.

Back to the celebrating. Last night he went out with his “keep fat friends”. A bunch of old codgers who are still trying to play football every Thursday. He set off with the sole intention of getting hammered - why do men have to do that? Meanwhile I was cleaning up sick at 11.30pm. Ben had puked at the top end of his bed, then moved to the bottom end and threw up again. He then went for the treble and chucked all over his bedroom floor. Another man in the making. Neither my daughter or I have ever been sick anywhere other than the toilet or a “found in plenty of time” bucket.

This morning, hub was obviously unable to get out of bed because of the state he had got himself in the night before, so I flew around like a lunatic washing more sick covered items (my dressing gown included) and getting 4 kids dressed and fed so we could all troop to Caitlin’s horse riding lesson. After that we got petrol, bought a Christmas tree and visited the leisure centre to resolve the problem of Ben’s new football session clashing with the swimming lesson. I dragged the 6 foot Christmas tree out of the car down the steps and weight lifted it into the house. Carl then looked for a round of applause because he had managed to get out of bed, stick Ben’s mattress on the trampoline!!!! And volunteered to take the dog for a walk.

Later this afternoon Carl has gone off to watch Manchester City (another Christmas treat to himself, although he takes Ben to make it look like he is spending quality time with ONE of his children). Caitlin and I have been left to sort the Christmas decorations. We have untangled lights (of course one set no longer work), put the baubles on and added the tinsel. I had a daft idea that Ewan and Joseph would really enjoy helping. Ewan did – he armed himself with a Christmas cracker and started wacking the tree, destroying several baubles in the process! After dispatching Ewan and Joseph to bed, Caitlin and I eyed our handy work – it looks rubbish. Other people's Christmas trees look really professional and adult like. Mine looks like it has been styled by an unartistic mother and her six year old daughter and finished off by being whacked with a Christmas cracker!

We did eventually see the funny side and collapsed with laughter. Poor Caitlin as I write, is desperately trying to make it look better – I fear she has inherited my artistic talents. I have promised to take her to the garden centre tomorrow to seek inspiration and invest in some new baubles and a proper fairy (the one we have is made of a toilet roll and a snapped in half CD, Carl made it and I used to think it was sweet – those were the days before we had kids when he helped with the decorations!)

Oh well, off to make a hash of putting up the really badly made Christmas paper chains – last years’ effort.

Two Nights in a Children's Hospital

2007-12-13T13:31:00.000Z

Last week Joseph was admitted to Pendlebury Children’s Hospital to have his tonsils and adenoids removed and gromits fitted. It was clear that he needed to have this done as the poor little chap snored like a noisy adult. The ear, nose and throat consultant also demonstrated that no air at all was being taken in or blown out of his nose. At 4.00 we duly arrived at the hospital and at 6.00 Joseph was carried by is dad down to the Theatre wearing a tiny flowery robe. I was left in tears on the ward. For the next hour we clock watched. Eventually a nurse came to us and said that Joseph was a little upset and they needed one of us to go to him. I didn’t even give Carl a chance to volunteer, but leapt up and followed her down the corridor. When I went into the recovery room, Joseph was screaming his head off and had blood running out of his nose. I picked him up and tried to sooth him, the machine that he was attached to kept bleeping alarmingly. He stopped crying quite quickly, but his oxygen saturations were still low (hence the beeping machine). The theatre nurse said he would have to stay on oxygen for a while. We got him settled into bed and he was wired up to a mask (which he hated). He was still clearly traumatised by the whole experience so I went and put my pyjamas and got in bed with him. We snuggled up and eventually he fell asleep. The monitoring machine beeped every 10 minutes – I don’t believe I slept a wink. The following morning, Joseph still needed the oxygen. The paediatrician came to see him and said that he thought Joseph should stay in for another night.

Over the course of the day, the nurses worked hard to get him off the oxygen. It soon became clear that his saturation levels were good while he was awake, but dipped significantly when he was asleep. He was diagnosed with sleep apnea. After some discussion we all concluded that he had probably had this before he went in the hospital. What we needed to do now was reassure ourselves that when he stopped breathing, he started again simultaneously. I stayed awake for another night, listening to that bloody machine beeping. In the morning Joseph was a lot better and proved this when he rammed several people with a dolls pram that he was pushing up and down the ward. Two doctors checked him over and said he could go home.

At that point I took a moment to be thankful for my healthy children. Yes the hospital stay had been stressful, but I was taking home a well boy. Some of the children in that hospital had been in there longer than they had been at home. There were kids with really debilitating illnesses and disabling conditions. I recalled a mum the day before who had wept uncontrollably as her 12 year old wheel chair bound son was pushed to theatre for a 6 hour, spinal operation. Another mum had slept in a chair next to her 16 year old daughter for the last 4 weeks. There was a little Down Syndrome baby who had a catalogue of medical problems, peering through the bars of his cot. I wonder how these parents and children cope, I suppose the answer is that they have to. It makes me realise that there are a lot of brave people in this world who are not acknowledged as such and probably don’t even think that they are.

When we left at lunchtime, I saw the boy’s mother who had undergone the back operation the day before – it had gone well. The sixteen year old girl had been told she could go home and the little Down’s baby was having his operation that day. Joseph has bounced back much quicker than we thought he would and is already showing real signs that he is healthier – he no longer snores.

We met the "REAL" Father Christmas

2007-12-09T19:56:00.000Z

Well we went to Lapland. It was absolutely brilliant. It was a bit of an early start (up at 3.30 am), but the flight went without a hitch and we landed in the remotest airport I have ever seen. As we waited for our luggage the elves that had come to greet us, encouraged us to sing Jingle Bells. Once on the coach we sang a series of Christmassy songs from the provided song sheet. The snow was thick on the ground (the UK would have ground to a halt), but our driver sped along at top speed!!!!

Once armed with our artic suits, thermal boots, gloves and socks we headed for our accommodation. It was simple, but comfortable and the bathroom had a sauna. Once unpacked we met the rest of my family (mum, dad, brother, sister-in-law, nephew and Niece) and the 12 of us lobbed snowballs and rolled in the snow. It got a bit fraught when Steph lost her apartment key, but by some miracle we found it. After a buffet tea we all headed to bed, tired but happy.

The following morning we were taken by coach to our activity day. This was held at a remote clearing in the trees. Open fires were burning and hot berry juice was available in a log cabin. There was also a sauna like building, where you could really go and warm up. The kids played on skidoos tied to a tree. We sledged down a slope; we made an ice sculpture and went on a reindeer ride. The highlight of the day was a 25 minute husky dog ride through this arctic wilderness – it was brill!

The last hour saw us “search for Santa”. All 12 of us piled onto a trailer pulled by a skidoo. We rounded a corner to find Santa’s upturned sleigh with presents scattered around it. The children’s faces glowed with excitement. Finally we came across Santa’s cabin and the elves were there to greet us. We entered a room where a fire glowed warmly and there he was – the real Father Christmas. In his hands he held the Children’s letters that they had sent to him. He promised he would try his best to bring the gifts asked for, although seemed to be a bit confused as to what a Ninky Nonk was. “Thank you Father Christmas”, said a wide eyed Ben (aged 8) as he shook his hand. The twins and young Harry were a bit frightened, but still very interested.

The following day we didn’t have enough time to do very much. Grandad took Ben and Caitlin down the official Toboggan Run and is still suffering the consequences a week on (at 58, he had a better time than the kids). At the airport 2 people dressed in traditional Lappish costume, bought a reindeer to look through the window. This really helped to pass the time and made even the departure very special.

Overall a really fine holiday. What really surprised me was how uncommercialised the whole trip was. No souvenir shops at the activity day. No-one trying to flog you a photo of your visit to Father Christmas, no tinny Christmas music and no MacDonald’s. The whole trip was brilliantly organised and made as pain free as possible.

We travelled with Esprit to Saariselka on their 3 day “Santa’s Magic” tour. The cost was around £850 per adult and £750 for the kids. The only money you need once you are there is for drinks and souvenirs.

A most unpleasant week

2007-11-26T14:37:00.000Z

Last week was not a good week. As some of you will know, one of my twins, Joseph has had a number of health problems. To be fair I have had a break from what at one time seemed like a constant merry go round of medical appointments. This week it all started again. On Monday we met with an ear, nose and throat consultant. He informed us that Joseph needed to have his tonsils and adenoids removed and grommet's fitted. On Wednesday Joseph's medical care was reviewed by the community paediatrician. She referred me to a physiotherapist, a speech therapist and a dietitian. Just for good measure I also have to go and see her again in 4 months time. How are you, she asked. How do you think! I felt like saying.

On Friday Ewan (my other 2 year old) decided to lock himself in the changing room at the swimming baths. After shouting through the door for 5 minutes, suggesting that he opened it, I beetled off, (with Joseph screaming in my arms because we had deserted his brother) to find someone who had access to a flat headed screwdriver. While a search commenced I found myself on my hands and knees peeping through a 2 inch gap talking to a small boy who was shouting "stuck" at periodic intervals. Finally just as the cavalry arrived in the shape of 2 maintenance men, Ewan decided that he was fed up of being "stuck" and calmly unlocked the door.

Yesterday was my eldest boys 8th birthday. We took him and 5 friends ten pin bowling. I was mildly amused by my dad and husband intently trying to to beat this band of small boys. Fortunately I didn't present much competition. By lunchtime I was starting to feel a bit rough and being stuck in a traffic jam with a lively, noisy bunch of first year juniors was not helping. By the time the extended family met at a restaurant for a birthday tea I was coughing and sneezing and generally feeling terrible. Carl also has a cold which meant that his snoring kept me awake all night. Aggghhhhh! Hopefully this week will be better.

A weekend away

2007-11-20T10:01:00.000Z

Well last weekend was great. Carl and I jetted off to Madrid for the weekend minus the kids. It didn't start all that well as I had to face a number of my intense dislikes in the first 4 hours . I initially had to get up at 5am (not a time when I am at my best) and then suffer Carl's horrendous driving all the way to East Midlands Airport (which is even worse these days, because I have to put up with the droning noise of the sat nav as well). Upon arriving I had a run in with a not very customer focused Ryan Air check in clerk who seemed to think that I should have answered "yes" when asked if I knew what priority boarding meant. OK I perhaps could have worked it out, but she should have been happy to tell me! She was forced to tell me, but she wasn't very happy about it.

Next we headed for Costa Bomb to await my best friend Siobhan whose flat we were staying at in Madrid. She was held up in the check in queue thanks to a bunch of people insisting on being told what priority boarding was! Meanwhile we were not enjoying our £4.50 latte's. The day was not improving when I had to chuck my Avon anti-wrinkle cream in the bin because it was in a 200ml tub. It was however, only half full so in my view met the 100ml quota. The officious woman on the security desk (who frankly would have been more at home in Prisoner Cell Block H), then tried to make me buy a 50p bag to put a three quarter empty Dove Deodorant in. I told her I would smell for the weekend and binned it. On the departure side we went into Boots (where the staff were rubbing their hands together in glee) and re-stocked our liquids, remarking on how easy it would be to buy a large pair of scissors and a packet of razor blades!

Once on the plane I said a few prayers (since I had the kids I now hate flying) and settled down to chat to Shiv about her plans for the future (she leaves next weekend to travel South America for 6 months and then will live in the USA for 2 years while Epi (her US boyfriend trains to be a teacher - in the Bronx, nice). When we stepped off the plane I then had several escalators and a tube journey to endure, not great if you hate heights, escalators, tubes and are slightly claustrophobic. Finally we arrived and once armed with the first beer of many, we began to relax.

We spent the weekend drinking, eating tapas, sight seeing, drinking, eating more tapas, drinking, visiting art galleries, drinking and playing pontoon. The weather was beautiful and we didn't stop laughing. Unfortunately, I can't remember exactly where we went, but it was all good. There were several rather dodgy pieces of modern art and sculpture on display though - I'm seriously considering a career change!

Unfortunately, my mood changed when we got up at 4.45 on the final morning. This was to be the last time that I would see the lovely Epi (who incidentally voted for George Bush twice and has thus provided us with hours of entertainment value) for a couple of years and I was quite upset. In fact I howled all the way to the airport. I could see Carl and Shiv getting very uncomfortable and it was dawning on them that I might keep it up all the way home. Fortunately I managed to pull myself together in the very long security queue, mainly because I was so incensed at the number of people who thought it was ok to push in! I held it together all the way home and didn't start again until we got into arrivals.

Siobhan has played a very special role in my life. We met when I was 22 on a management training course, when we both trying to find a TV to watch "Neighbours". Since then we have stayed firm friends and have been there for each other through the many ups and downs of the last 18 years. She was my witness when I got married and is the Godmother to my daughter. We have never had an argument and I really value her opinion. In many ways our lives are totally different but I think our values are the same and we think in the same way. Although she has been out of the UK for extended periods in the past, she has never disappeared for 2.5 years. I am glad for her because she is doing what she wants to do. I am desperately sorry for myself. Anyway that was the last time I will see her for a while unless I have a weekend away in New York - now there's a thought!

Don't get a labrador

2007-11-08T19:31:00.000Z

I am writing this from my bedroom at the top of my three storey house. Why? My Labrador Elly has just deposited a large sloppy pile of steaming dog poo by the front door. I kept getting a whiff of an unpleasant smell. As I am still on an ongoing mission to complete the potty training of my twins I assumed that it was emanating from something to do with them. It was only when I heard the door bell ring and some rather foul language from my darling hub that the whole disaster was revealed. He was on his way out to a poker night. The +1 of a close friend who had been invited by my Accountant (notice I didn't get an invite, mind you he never has the heart to charge me anything when he sees the sorry state of my accounts!). Not only could Carl not open the front door, he then had to clean it up, whilst shouting an explanation through the letterbox - a most sorry state of affairs. I have done my best with the air freshener, but it isn't a room I want to hang around in!

Oh well off to Madrid in the morning. Freedom from 4 kids and a smelly dog for 3.5 days - bliss.

Adios (is that how you spell it?)

Wendy

Media Frenzy

2007-10-15T12:50:00.000Z

Well I am shattered. Up at 5.30 this morning to appear on the breakfast programme for Channel M. Felt like a real country hick as I became a Manchester commuter for the first time in years and seemed to have forgotten how to negotiate ticket machines and electric train doors. Didn't recognise Piccadilly Station when I reached it and almost ended up in Blackpool! Arrived at Channel M having had no breakfast and more importantly no coffee. I thought I would get a make-up job to cover up the panda eyes, but one wasn't forthcoming. Hate to think what I looked like but as I can't watch myself on the tele I guess I will never know. Also featured on High Peak radio today. I recorded it some time ago and so nearly crashed the car when it came on air unexpectedly. I feel like crawling under my duvet and having a nice sleep.

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY

2007-09-18T15:03:00.000Z

I can’t seem to get my breath at the moment. The Baby Sleep System available from www.babysleepanswers.co.uk is selling fast and the Forum has never been as busy. I continue to be horrified by the lack of support that is being offered to families around the country.

I am exhibiting at a Baby Show for the first time on 30th September. In tandem with this I am launching a range of Baby Sleep baskets and have been spending a lot of time sourcing lovely products and rubber ducks! If anyone lives in Nottingham (see site for full details), pop down to see me. I would love to meet you in person.

I have just launched a new service offering one to one home visits and telephone consultations. The number of Baby Sleep Workshops that I am running has also increased lately because of the demand.

When I established Baby Sleep Answers a few years ago, I never thought it would grow into a support service that was this busy. I am happy and proud to be helping so many people.

Thinking of going to Murcia?

2007-09-18T14:47:00.000Z

Hi to all, it seems ages since I got the chance to add to this Blog. First we were on holiday and what an experience that was. If anyone out there is considering visiting Polaris World in Murcia I would ask them to reconsider.

The Villas and the 5 Star hotel are absolutely lovely. However the same cannot be said for the surrounding locale. The resort is in the middle of an arid, not very picturesque landscape. There are no facilities that you can walk to with the exception of those on the resort. If like us, you like a drink with your evening meal the 10 minute drive to the nearest restaurant is not appealing. The view on the journey to the beach, yet another 10 minute drive away, again is not very picturesque due to the graffiti and prolific fly tipping.

The first three days were stressful because hub and I were desperately trying to get the Villa modemed up so I could monitor emails for Baby Sleep Answers. The books were being sent out by a friend, but I still needed to forward addresses. I had also promised to respond to the Forum http://babysleepanswers.co.uk/forum if I could find a way to do it. In desperation we had to blag our way into the 5 star hotel and use the on site business centre. Thankfully by Day 5 we got the Modem fitted, but it was cost prohibitive to administer the Forum and sort the delivery of the books so my poor customers had to manage.

By this point I was also starting to get a bit of cabin fever because of the amount of lying about I was doing and the lack of other options. On Day 6, 3 out of 9 of our party went down with a sickness. The following day a further 3 were stricken including myself and Carl who vomited with style on the golf course.

After another week of reading books (I read 5 thick ones, most I’ve done at one sitting since having children) we set off for home. We were all mightily relieved that it was all over. Overall scores are listed below:

Villa – 9 out of 10 – very nicely furnished and good swimming pool.
Resort – 7 out of 10 – restaurants were over priced and a lot of flies. Intercontinental hotel roof top terrace was nice though.
Allacazares (became better known as Alcatraz) – 4 out of 10 – did eventually find a couple of good restaurants but beach was manmade and sat on the Mar Menor (more like a dirty sea lake and no waves).
Jet2 – 0 out of 10. Not going with them again – 3 hours on the tarmac at Manchester Airport because of a faulty air conditioning unit and then we flew with it not working anyway! Feel sorry for the people on the return leg, because our flight ate all the sandwiches!

Next year we are off to Cyprus – walking distance to lovely restaurants, water sports and a great beach (with waves). All reviews welcome.

Preparing for Holiday

2007-08-06T14:56:00.000Z

Well we are off to Spain for 2 weeks of glorious sunshine (just as it comes out here!). To say that the Dean trip abroad is akin to “Muldoons picnic” is a bit of an understatement. Not only are we taking our own kids, aged 7, 6 and 2X2 respectively, but my 6 year old niece is coming as well. I am thinking of asking my brother to return the favour next year!

I am quite determined to have a restful and stress free holiday and have approached the trip like a military operation. Here are my efforts so far:

1. Have reserved seats on the plane (at the back) and checked in on the Internet.

2. Have booked Tesco shopping delivery for the day of return.

3. Have instructed the “lovely Lynda” my own domestic goddess cleaner and general stress reliever to get milk and bread out of the freezer the day before our return.

4. Rather than take large, bulky double 3 wheeler buggy, we are hiring 2 single buggy’s in Spain. I have added to the order 1 X potty (yes we are about to start that again!), a box of toys for the twins and a selection of blow up beach toys, buckets and spades. The lovely people at www.all4kidshire.com are going to bring them to the Airport.

5. I have written a shopping list for the Spanish supermarket to be visited en route to our villa.

6. Cars will be ready for us at Murcia airport.

7. Planned BBQ for 1st night.

If this holiday is not stress free, I will eat my hat. Be prepared for the next instalment!

Marauding Twins

2007-06-01T10:31:00.000Z

Well I have had a little reminder this week of what many of my clients go through on a daily basis – sleep problems. As most of you know I have twin boys Ewan and Joseph (read the previous blog item for the story around those two, it’s a bit of a tear jerker). Well on Sunday night Ewan learnt how to climb out of his cot. Not content with this great achievement, he gave his brother a personal tutorial and within five minutes they were both marauding around the bedroom laughing hysterically much to the consternation of my mother who was babysitting.

On Monday hub and I headed for Ikea to purchase two new beds, afraid that our little bundles of joy (otherwise known as the demolition squad) would break their necks. Ikea was as usual the ultimate nightmare shopping experience. Carl decided that the best plan of attack was a commando style in and out mission. Fine except it was Bank Holiday Monday and it was not possible to quickly fight your way through the crowds. Instead I had to listen to a lot of tutting, derogatory comments about slow overweight people and a sharp rebuff when I suggested we might stop to buy a portion of Swedish meatballs (the only usual highlight of an Ikea trip). We did however, make a fantastic breakthrough. We found a helpful member of staff. Having shopped for ten years at various branches of Ikea (Wembley, Leeds, Warrington and now Manchester) this was the first time that we had come across such a person. She advised on the best value for money expanding mattress, checked stock availability and smiled throughout. We were surprised, amazed and delighted. After a couple of hours armed with our purchases of 2 beds, 2 mattresses, duvets, pillows, duvet covers, matching curtains and a garden bench (don’t know how that happened) we made for home.

Of course the follow up to a trip to Ikea is also extremely unpleasant because you then have to build the furniture. There was clearly a sense of urgency because by this time it was 5.30 and the twins go to bed at 7.00. On top of this Carl had decided to recoup some of the £325 Ikea bill by flogging the cots on EBay so these had to be washed down, photographed and dismantled by Ben, Caitlin and I whilst Carl huffed and puffed with his illustrated instructions.

Finally at 7.15 the beds were assembled, the duvet and curtains were ironed and in situ and the twins were introduced to their new sleeping areas. Oh the joy on their little faces as they bounced up and down on their new trampolines! We started the by now famous Baby Sleep System routine. They had a bath, we read a story, they had their milk, we tucked them in and left the room was so that they could blissfully fall asleep on their own. Five minutes later as we settled down to a well deserved beer and the latest episode of Doctor Who we could hear a regular thudding and sounds of general hilarity. “They will get fed up in a minute and go to sleep” said the half of our partnership who is not a Baby Sleep Expert. Half an hour went by and there was no sign of the party in the twins’ room coming to an end. I went upstairs and put Ben and Caitlin in bed. I calmly told the boys to get into their beds whilst trying not to screech about the scene of devastation which met my eyes. They laughed, ignored me, climbed on the window sill and hid behind the Bob the Builder black out blind. At this point I started to follow my own advice and firmly put them back in their own beds. I had barely reached the door when Ewan had climbed into Josephs’ bed. I returned him. This time I made it to the door before Joseph got out. I returned him using my key phrase ”time to sleep, night, night”. After around 20 returns, I roped in my 7 year old son, who occupies the room across the corridor. “Shout me if they get out of bed”. Caitlin then started to howl because she wanted to be the policeman. By this time my patience was wearing thin and she got screeched at to get in bed. Finally after 2 hours of running up and down stairs (I can’t understand why I am a stone over weight) the twins gave in and fell asleep. All was calm and I got to finish my beer. That night as I headed for my bed, I peeked in. Joseph was lying in the gap between the two beds (must have fallen out and not woken) and Ewan was asleep in the middle of the bedroom floor with his bum in the air (who knows how he got there). I put them back in bed and headed for the land of nod.

The following day I was violently awakened at 6.30 by Caitlin screeching up the stairs “the twins are out of bed”. Having been deprived of the police job the night before, she was determined not to be sidelined in the morning. After 30 minutes of listening to screeching, arguing and the twins blatantly defying Caitlin’s crowd control attempts I struggled out of bed. During the course of the day another concern entered my head. My boys as you would expect if you had read my book have a 2 hour nap every afternoon. I use this time to service my Forum. If they were not going to have this sleep I was in big trouble. Of course 12.30 arrived and the last thing on their mind was sleep. Who could nap when there was so much fun to be had? I spent the next 2 hours running up and down stairs consistently putting them back in bed. I had tried peeking through the door, but they were onto me and kept shouting “hiya”. My poor clients got some short responses to their questions that day.

The following afternoon I hatched an ingenious plan. I would put travel cots up and they could sleep in them for the midday nap. If they did not fall asleep immediately then it would keep them from marauding in the bedroom. At 12.40 I was back downstairs. Ewan had worked out how to climb out of the travel cot! I put him in bed. Two minutes later I am back downstairs to find that Ewan had got out of his bed and climbed into Josephs travel cot – agggghhhhh. Again I was up and down the stairs like a Stannah stair lift. This time they fell asleep after 45 minutes.

I have to say that things are improving. Last night they only got out of bed three times and didn’t disturb us until 7.30 this morning (although the bedroom did look like a battle re-enactment). The naps are now happening with Joseph in a travel cot and Ewan in his bed. I am optimistic that after another week of consistency I will have got there (and hopefully be 7lbs lighter). Let’s hope.

Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome - we beat the odds

2007-06-01T09:34:00.000Z

In the summer before my eldest child was due to go to school, I got a bad case of empty nest syndrome. I had always wanted three children but, after the birth of our second child Caitlin, Carl and I decided that as we now had a pink and a blue one we would stop. One morning we got up at 5.30 am and hired a stall at a Manchester car boot sale. We sold all our baby stuff and then went off on a shopping expedition to buy ourselves some new clothes. Boy were we to regret that one! However, as the dreaded school start date approached for Ben, I started to get more and more broody. Not only was he about to go to school full time, but I knew that my baby girl was only a year behind him. Through May and June I started to nag, cry, negotiate and black mail my poor husband to try for another baby. Carl was reluctant. “What happens if it is twins? he tried in a desperate effort to put me off. “Don’t be ridiculous” I said. There are no twins in my family. Eventually Carl gave in “Go on then we will give it a go”. Five weeks later whilst on holiday, I disappeared into a public toilet in a designer outlet retail park with my pregnancy testing kit. Upon reappearing I made Carl check that there was indeed the confirming cross in the second window. Carl went rather a funny colour and bought two shirts in the next ten minutes which were not to his normal taste (i.e. blue) and which I have never yet seen him wearing. I of course was deliriously happy and the prospect of Ben going to school did not seem so bad after all.

Another week or so went by and I started throwing up (nothing new, but it did seem worse than I had remembered). I then started to get quite serious pain on one side of my stomach. I began to worry that the pregnancy was ectopic. I had had to have an ovarian cyst removed in my 20’s which had resulted in me losing a tube, so I knew that if this was the case, my chances of having another baby would be reduced to zero. I headed off to my GP and he made me an appointment for an early scan at 7 weeks. A week later we duly trudged to the hospital and I positioned myself on the bed. The scan began and within a few seconds, we heard the dreaded words “Is there any history of twins in your family”? The pit of my stomach hit the floor as she turned the screen around and there, clearly visible were what looked like two little runner beans. Carl made a very funny noise from his chair in the corner. This turned into a hysterical laugh. I was momentarily quite worried about him. I suddenly had a horrible thought “there are only 2”? I asked. “Yes only two” she said. We left the hospital in a bit of a daze.

It took a few weeks, but we were gradually warming to the idea of doubling our family in one foul swoop. My mum had lifted a huge weight from my shoulders by volunteering to work part-time and child mind for me so I could continue to work two days a week. This addressed the financial worries that we were really concerned about because she was going to work for free. We had recently moved house so space was not really an issue and we had numerous offers of baby equipment, clothes etc from friends. By the time I had my 12 week scan I was feeling quite relaxed about the whole thing. The scan went well and there was no sign of the problems to come.

As the weeks went by I began to get very very large. At first I put it down to the fact that I was having twins. I was however, acutely aware that it must all be baby as I threw up practically everything that I ate. A couple of days before the 20 week scan I began to harbour a secret fear that something was not quite right. My stomach was much larger than for a 40 week single baby. On the day of the scan a series of events began that were to make the next 3 months the worst of our lives. The lady doing the scanning was clearly concerned the minute she saw me, due to my vast size. When the scan started she said very little. Eventually I asked if everything was okay. She said that she could see no sign of a stomach and a bladder on twin 2 and that twin 1 was swimming in a massive amount of fluid and also seemed to have some abnormalities. In addition, there was a 2 week size difference between the 2 twins. I burst into floods of tears and Carl sat in shocked silence. The sonographer said that we needed to speak to the Consultant and she left us alone for a few minutes. In this time we decided that we wanted to see a specialist and that this had to happen quickly. If the situation was as bad as it looked then we needed to review our options as soon as possible. We were very lucky to get an appointment at St Marys two days later.

On Friday we set off for Manchester. I had not slept for two days, but had had good support from friends, family and my midwife who had come to the house to see me. We met the consultant and his team of midwives and radiographers. He did a detailed scan which took about 40 minutes and then took us into an ante-room. He explained to us in simple language and with diagrams that I had a condition called twin to twin transfusion syndrome which was fairly rare and only affected identical twins. In basic terms it meant that one twin, the donor (in our case twin 2) was passing blood to the other twin, the recipient. This resulted in twin 1 becoming anaemic, having little amniotic fluid and stunted growth and twin 2 receiving too much blood, resulting in heart problems and a massive increase in amniotic fluid. The syndrome had 5 levels of seriousness and mine was right near the top. If the fluid was not removed and continued to build up, I would either go into labour between 20 and 25 weeks or one or both babies would die in the womb. He then explained our options. We could do nothing and the babies would almost certainly die, we could terminate the pregnancy or we could opt for one of two treatments. The first of these was to start on a course of amniotic reduction. This would involve inserting a needle into the sac of twin 1 and removing the excess fluid. The consultant said that this sometimes only needed to be done a couple of times and the fluid increase stopped. The second option was to consider laser surgery. This involved splitting the blood vessels in the placenta to give each baby an independent blood supply. St Mary’s did not offer this but they could refer me elsewhere. The chances of success for both procedures was around the same – 33% chance of 2 healthy babies, 33% chance of 1 baby surviving and a 33% chance that both would die. He left us alone to make a decision. Our feeling at the time was one of optimism. Okay this was not great news, but at least there was some hope, whereas an hour ago we had had none. We decided to opt for the amniotic reduction which could be started immediately and we would still have the opportunity to take the laser surgery if it was unsuccessful. The procedure was far from pleasant. The needle insertion hurt and the fluid was drawn off with a syringe the size of a small bicycle pump. On that occasion 6 pints of fluid were collected in jugs and thrown down the sink.

When we got home I set about researching everything I could about twin to twin transfusion syndrome. I soon became quite depressed. There were endless accounts of people losing their babies either in the womb or in special care baby units. The medical research was complicated to understand and I spent hours deciphering the results of medical trials comparing laser surgery with amniotic reduction techniques. In the next few days I could feel the fluid building up again so knew that the initial treatment had not worked. I returned to St Marys after a week and had 4 pints taken off. This time the consultant made a little hole between the 2 amniotic sacs to try and equalise the fluid around both babies. The Christmas holidays arrived and I returned a further 2 times to have another 8 pints of fluid removed but it was becoming obvious to everyone that it was not working. The worse thing was the counting of days. Every day was closer to the magic 26 week point, where a baby’s chance of survival begins to improve significantly. Somehow I knew that if I didn’t exercise another option quickly, my babies were going to die. On the day after Boxing Day Carl and I asked my consultant to refer me for laser surgery. I was still only at 23 weeks.

Through my research I had concluded that the success of the surgery seemed to depend on the experience of the surgeon. I had tracked down the doctor who had performed the most in the UK and he was based at Kings College Hospital in London. We therefore asked St Mary’s if we could be referred there rather than their usual choice of another London hospital. This was actioned and the surgeon agreed to see me four days later. It was terrible packing to go, but we knew that the situation was probably about to be resolved one way or another. We knew that if both babies were still alive after a week following the operation then the chances of them surviving were good. If it didn’t work then they still weren’t really viable and I convinced myself that this would make me feel better about taking the risk. I was a mess and I couldn’t do the waiting game and the amniotic reduction treatment anymore.

The Harris Birth Right centre at Kings is an exceptional facility. I was seen and assessed by at least 4 top doctors specialising in various fields of foetal medicine. Once they had established that I was not likely to have a heart attack during the procedure and they had done a comprehensive scan to check positioning, condition of the babies etc. I met the top man himself. He had come in from his Christmas Leave to do the laser surgery. I was given a local anaesthetic via patches on the skin. It must have been a fairly hefty dose because what followed should have really hurt, but didn’t. A hollow pipe was pushed into my uterus to the right of my belly button and a camera and a laser were passed through it. The Professor then used a conventional scanner and the camera to plan his assault with the laser. He passed the laser across the placenta burning a line across it. He then went back and ‘mopped up’ any blood vessels that he had missed. I had expected that the whole op would be more scientific and that more work would be done on assessing which vessels were connecting the two babies. I suppose luck plays a big part and this is why the procedure has such a variable success rate. When he’d finished he asked us if we wanted to see the babies’ faces via the camera. I declined and looked away. I didn’t want to see the faces of babies that might shortly be dead. Carl had a good look though.

Once all the equipment had been taken off I was sent to lie down for an hour. They wanted to scan again to check there were still two heart beats, before they discharged me. That was a very long hour and I can’t describe the agony of the wait. Eventually it was confirmed that both babies were still alive and I now had a 44% chance that at least one of my babies would still be alive in a week (why is everything pregnancy related always described in percentages?). We went back to our hotel, Carl went for a takeaway and I phoned my mother.

The following week was a nightmare. I spent every second trying to work out whether I was being kicked and by how many babies. Sometimes I was certain that there were two and other times I felt nothing for a couple of hours. Blind panic would set in and then I would feel the tiniest movement and convince myself that one baby was dead. All the time I was still coping with a demanding teaching job and a five and a three year old. I look back and wonder how I held it together. At last the hospital scan day arrived. The Consultant and his staff looked as worried as we did when we walked in. He said nothing for a couple of minutes as he scanned. Finally the silence was broken and he said “there are two babies and they are doing much better”. Carl and I couldn’t believe that we had beaten the odds. I don’t think the staff did either.

I continued to go for regular scans at St Marys for the next few weeks. Everyone hoped that I would get to 35 weeks and then steps would be taken to deliver the twins. At about 30 weeks I began to relax. I knew that statistically my babies would have a great chance of survival from this point and I needed to get my head together and plan for the arrival. We had dared not prepare a room, buy a pram or a bigger car until now and it all needed to be sorted. Over the next 2 weeks we spent money and got excited. On the 14th March I went to move my nana into her new sheltered old persons flat. Her warden came up to talk through the tenancy agreement whilst we enjoyed our pie and cake lunch. I had just taken my last mouthful of lemon bun when I felt a small pop. I went to the toilet and realised that my waters had broken. My babies were coming and I was at 33 weeks and 3 days gestation. I tried to tactfully let my nana know, but unfortunately at 80 she is a bit deaf. By the time the message got through, most of the flats on the top floor must have known. The warden who was an ex Inspector with Greater Manchester Police asked if I wanted an ambulance. I told him that I was fine and that my babies did not arrive quickly (36 hours and 12 hours to be precise). It was 1.30 in the afternoon. They carried on going through my nanas paperwork whilst I sat on the toilet and organised my family. Carl was contacted, told to get from Macclesfield to Whaley Bridge, pick up the hospital bag and then collect me from Stockport. My dad was dispatched to pick up Ben and Caitlin and my mother was summoned from my brothers to come and talk to me whilst I waited for my husband to arrive. My nana continued to discuss rent and trough her lemon bun! At 2.00 I was beginning to get a little concerned. The contractions hurt and were coming very quickly. My mother had been delayed, my nana was still eating (as she is apt to do in stressful circumstances) and Carl was still on his way to Whaley Bridge. The warden was still covering the finer points of tenancy agreements but was obviously getting worried. 15 minutes later my mother arrived in a panic stricken state and offered to drive me to the hospital. The thought of my mothers driving, caused me to wonder if I could drive myself, but the next contraction confirmed that I couldn’t. Carl was now in Disley and stuck in traffic. He screamed down the phone to call an ambulance. The residents of the sheltered accommodation assembled in the foyer to witness me threaten to kill the ambulance man if he made me get in the wheelchair he had pushed in for my convenience. The urgency of the situation was realised and the blue light and the siren went on. At the hospital there was a massive furore as a labour room was set up. People arrived from all over the place and at one point there must have been 30 people in the room. The time was 3.15 and my husband was not among the assembled.

Funnily enough, despite the chaos I really felt quite calm. For the first time in seven months I felt like I had some control over the situation. My babies were both head down and I was determined that I was going to give them a great start in life by delivering them myself with no medical intervention. I even checked with my midwife before accepting any pethadine to make sure that this would not increase the chance of them having to be ventilated. Carl at this point fell through the door clutching my notes. At 3.25 I announced that I was going to push and delivered Joseph William Dean at 3.28. He was 4lbs 1oz and the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. His head was just a little bigger than a tennis ball and he was breathing on his own. I was having a lovely cuddle and felt in a state of complete bliss. In the meantime the consultant was getting very worried. He had been desperately trying to stop twin 2 from flipping round, but with the extra room suddenly becoming available, twin 2 had decided to have a go at ballroom dancing and had gone transverse. He announced that I was going to need a caesarean. No way was I going to have major surgery when I had successfully delivered one twin. “I can do this” I said. “My contractions have stopped and when they restart I will push this baby out”. The monitor showed that the baby was not in any way distressed so the Consultant gave me the chance to have a go. When the contractions started I pushed like I have never pushed before. At the same time I performed a sub conscious gymnastic twist which must have worked because two little feet appeared in the daylight. “I really need you to push now” a slightly hysterical voice said from the bottom of the bed. I gave another almighty heave and Ewan Alexander Dean was born at 3.58. He was 4lbs 2oz and looked exactly the same as his brother. I had another little cuddle and both boys were put in incubators and taken to the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU). I was taken to a private room and so avoided being surrounded by mothers who had their babies with them. A couple of hours later I went down to the SCBU to see my two little boys who now looked liked the Borg characters from Star Trek due to the numerous wires. That first night was hard. Carl had gone home and I was on my own. I tried to sleep, but didn’t manage it. The following day a decision was made to transfer the twins to another SCBU that had spare beds. Again we were lucky and they were sent to Macclesfield hospital.

The next four and a half weeks were a bit of a blur. I was euphoric that my babies were here, but it was peculiar that they were not at home. Ben was in full time school and Caitlin did 4 short days at nursery so I managed to go to the SCBU everyday. Ewan made quicker progress and I brought him home after 3 weeks. Poor Joseph was apt to go blue when he sucked on a bottle and so had to stay in an extra week and a half. Eventually, however the day came when they were both at home.

Since then we have managed very well. The boys are now 16 months old and a delight. They slept through the night at 12 weeks and rarely cry. They still have a few ongoing problems. They both have a heart condition, but it is hoped that they will outgrow it. Joseph still has to see a physiotherapist every few months. For a while we thought he might have cerebral palsy (a common side effect of twin to twin transfusion syndrome), but everyone now seems quietly confident that he hasn’t. In the meantime I make sure that I enjoy every minute that I spend with them. They are a miracle and I thank God every day that they survived.

A Healthy Weekend Away

2007-05-10T15:43:00.000Z

I have just returned from a three day break at Champneys Spring near Ashby-De-La-Zouche in Leicestershire. I head to a Spa most years as a birthday treat. This year I went with my good friend Siobhan. She lives in Spain for most of the year so it was a great opportunity to meet up and spend some quality time together.

We had deliberated long and hard about where to spend our special treat. I had been to Hoar Cross Hall in Staffordshire on several occasions and Shiv had been to Ragdale in Leicestershire. We had found both places to be exceptional. However we were succumbed by thriftiness as online research had revealed that Champneys Springs was better value for money in terms of inclusive treatments.

Now there was a last minute body blow prior to departure when I discovered that there was no on site bar. Drinking alcohol was also banned in the bedrooms. Now I’m not saying that Shiv and I are slaves to the demon drink, but we do like a tipple, particularly when we are supposed to be on our holidays. We thus hatched a plan to sneak a couple of screw top bottles of Australia’s finest red in amongst our luggage. This policy should have given us a clue to what was in store.

On Sunday I arrived at the resort five minutes before check in. First impressions were not great I have to confess, but being a natural optimist I was prepared to delay judgement until I had at least entered the building. I tried not to let the drink clank in my bag as I approached reception and set it down gently (the contraband being wrapped in my gym gear). Within 15 minutes I was draped in my dressing gown and was slouched on a sofa reading my book – good job I made the most of it because as soon as my super sporty mate arrived that was to be the end of rest and relaxation.

Shiv rolled up at lunchtime. We went to our room, unpacked and headed for the restaurant. To say that the food was healthy was a bit of an understatement. It was impossible to choose an even vaguely fatty but tasty option! Shiv at this point had ready suggested that we head for the gym followed by a three mile run in the afternoon, so to avoid the risk of chucking up all over the cross trainer I held back the portion on my plate. After lunch we headed for the gym, and nearly killed ourselves. I staggered up to the therapy room for a rest and was rewarded by the excruciatingly painful removal of my stray eyebrow hairs one by one with a pair of tweezers.

Later we puffed (sorry ran) around the fast A roads (the cars were fast not us) of the Leicestershire country side. On returning we rolled up for our first inclusive treatment – a session in the Thassolotherapy suite. I can’t quite understand why it was supposed to be therapeutic. We were bombarded by pressurised sea water through a variety of pipes. It was really painful and not at all pleasant. Unsurprisingly when the therapist offered a discount for another session she was not trampled in the rush!

We were by this point getting a bit peckish and were looking forward to our dinner. We had a little pre-dinner snifter (using the screw top wine and the bathroom glasses) and headed for our three course dinner. There was a choice and we made our selection. We were a little shocked by the size of the starter portion and decided that we needed a bottle of wine to increase the volume. We were significantly more shocked by the £18.75 price tag, but justified it by the large gap in our stomachs. When the main course arrived we started to panic slightly. We had burnt off about 500 calories that afternoon which was significantly more than the number in my small portion of pasta. We ate up with a feeling of unease (and emptiness) and baulked Champneys tradition by asking for butter to go with our (small) bread roll instead of the tomato spread supplied. We did not endear ourselves to the waiter any further when he came to take the dessert selection. “Which dessert has the biggest portion” I asked. I was told that the portion sizes were all substantial and felt very heartened. It must be a matter of interpretation because frankly my portion would not have satisfied a 6 month old baby. Siobhan had to restrain herself from congratulating the chef on the most tasteless piece of cake she had ever eaten.

On the way back to our room we began to review the literature and notice little things which indicated that we might not be in the place where we wanted to be. The strap line said that Champneys was a Health “Farm” rather than a Spa. The former indicates starvation and the latter a treat. The coffee shop only had muesli bars and no cake. The coffee was all “skinny”. We noticed that the swimming pool was 25 metres, functional and cold, not Romanesque, relaxing and the wrong shape to do a length. The corridors were all devoid of people who must have been in their room thinking about food or up the road at Ragdale. By the time we got back to our room we couldn’t stop laughing. Fortunately Shiv had bought some weight watchers mini Victoria Sponges and we filled up as best we could on those (she pointed out that she would have bought full fat if she had known what she knew then).

The following morning, we jogged before breakfast and then headed straight for the buffet. By now we had got the message; fill up while there is opportunity. After this we headed to “ultimate aqua jog” and I discovered that it is possible to sweat in freezing water. This was followed by a de-stress body wrap, the effects of which were quickly removed when I discovered the internet had gone down and I couldn’t access the Baby Sleep Answers Forum. Shiv headed off to do yet another class (told you she was fit) and I set off on a campaign to find a way to help my tired customers.

At 12.30 we headed back into lunch and again visited the buffet on several occasions. By now I was beginning to experience quite a bad wind problem – there is only so much salad you can eat before the rest of your stomach fills with gas.

At 2.30 I rolled up for my pre-booked exercise prescription. The fitness guru was very nice, very young, very thin and very childless. She weighed and measured me and concluded that I needed to lose a stone. Easily done apparently – I now have an exercise regime that includes 2X3 mile runs, 2 arduous gym sessions and a swim (to include aqua jogging, not too sure if the High Peak is ready for aqua jog). I must also limit my alcohol consumption (agghhhh), drink 2 litres of water a day and have my cooked meal at lunch time instead of in the evening. Watch this space.

In the afternoon I turned up for my relaxing facial and back massage, but as I struggled to get my aching limbs on to the bed the beauty therapist offered me a sports massage instead. I have to say that I did feel a lot better after that and was still contemplating doing the Spinning class that Shiv had booked me in for at 7.30. However once back in the room, the call of the screw top beckoned and we settled for a couple of glasses of red and a chat. At dinner we enjoyed very small but tasty portions of food and went back to watch TV. Aching but happy we fell asleep.

Next morning we were up with the larks again and headed to breakfast. We then enjoyed a head in the clouds neck and scalp massage followed by a cardio burn session. Only Shiv and I had been mad enough to enrol so it turned into more of a personal training session. The sweat mixed with the massage oil from my treatment soon made me look spectacularly unattractive.

After lunch we chilled – yes for the first time in 3 days. We reclined on sofas and read our books. At 4.00 we set off home. We vowed to value our friendship more and to meet more regularly for some quality laughing. Next time it will be somewhere that sells cake!

A Typical Sunday Walk with the Dean Clan

2007-05-04T18:27:00.000Z

Do you ever look at other people’s families and think that their life seems more sedate than yours? I do this all the time. Take this weekend, for example. On Sunday we decided to go for a walk. I have recently bought a book which has really altered the format of our weekends. It’s called All-Terrain Pushchair Walks: The Peak District.

On this occasion we decided to try a new walk in a place called Macclesfield Forest. I checked out the walk assessment and it was described as Grade 2:

“These are mostly easy, but have one or two areas with minor difficulties, either rough ground, narrow gates or an unavoidable stile. A second adult to assist is advisable”

As there are 5 grades of difficulty (5 being the hardest) this walk seemed like it would be okay. I had suggested during the planning process, that we might call at a farm that has diversified into very good ice cream that was over that neck of the woods, but when we checked out multimap we decided it was a bit out of the way.

We started on our epic journey with hub making the usual mutterings “too many kids”, “we’re not getting another dog”, “I’ve forgotten to put the trolley in”. He then widened the usual list of complaints with some rather derogatory comments about my navigational abilities. Finally the seven of us (2 adults, 4 kids and a smelly, hairy Labrador) piled into the car and we set off.

Now I don’t know whether anyone else suffers from the same problem, but I get terrible motion sickness if I read in the car. Most husbands would be understanding of this malady, but not mine. Not only does his erratic driving style add to the problem, but even when I am clutching a Tesco carrier vomit bag and doing my best to follow a map he decides that he knows better than me and resorts to his rather inadequate homing pigeon skills. Such was the case on Sunday. Carl had decided to take the scenic route and we hurtled along single track country lanes, vainly looking for a signposts that said Trentabank Reservoir. Finally we emerged onto a familiar ‘A’ road (the road which I would have taken, I must add) and it was clear that the pigeon wasn’t homing. However, every cloud has a silver lining and there we were 100 metres away from the ice cream farm. We tumbled out of the car, sat and froze in a howling wind at 10,000 feet and licked ice cream – the children covering themselves in it in the process. A packet of wet wipes later and we resumed our journey.

Eventually after a dozen or so wrong turns we found our destination. Dean children, plus dog emerged from every door. We piled water and spare clothing onto the pram and set off following the signs for route 2 as per the directions in my most excellent book. En route we passed the information office and picked up 2 children’s activity sheets. Of course Elly dog decided to walk past every bin before squatting to do an enormous pile of yellow poo. I heard “your dog” and watched the rest of my family beetle off whilst I scooped. Five minutes later Caitlin and Ben were searching for mini beasts as per the sheets and the two hours that I had allowed for the three and a half mile walk was beginning to seem a bit optimistic. Enthusiasm was dampened by Carl telling Ben that he might find a tarantula under his latest log and the small boy who freely admits to having a cowardly disposition screeched and ran off. When I pointed out to the quaking seven year old that tarantulas were only found in Africa I was informed that they did in fact live in South America – an educational trip all round I think!

I was really starting to enjoy my walk at this point. The wind had dropped and the sun was shining and because we were climbing a big hill, the view was becoming spectacular. “Oh isn’t this a fantastic walk” I commented. At this point I caught the expression of my dear hub. I had of course forgotten that he was pushing the twins up this rather steep escarpment and he was looking red faced and not like he was having a good time. To add insult to injury there was a faint whiff of the Elly dump that I had surreptitiously placed in the bottom of the pram. At that moment the walk deteriorated even further by Caitlin falling flat on her face, thanks to the totally inappropriate Doodles that she had insisted on wearing.

Some three quarters of the way up our climb we spotted a fallen tree ahead of us, blocking the path. We could not go under it, we could not go over it, we had to go through it (anyone recognise that line!). Team Dean went into action and Ben and Caitlin were given the job of holding back the foliage while we scrambled through. At the top of the hill we were met by a greater challenge – a styal. Carl has never treated me as a gentle, sensitive wife to be cherished “do your She-Ra impression love and lift the front onto that gate” I huffed and puffed and managed to balance the buggy containing my two year old twins a little precariously on top of the gate. I was then instructed to get round the other side and lift them down.

By the end of the walk we had negotiated a further two styals and a set of steep steps. Carl was threatening to “write to that fat bird and dispute her grading system”. We let the twins get out and walk the final quarter of a mile which ended up taking half an hour because it was up hill and Ewan and Joseph preferred the downhill option in the opposite direction. At the point where we had got fed up and were prising them howling back into their trolley we spotted one of Caitlin’s friends from school enjoying a much more sedate walk with her sane looking parents and one sibling who was beaming angelically from a back pack. Her dog did try to bite Elly though so we felt a bit better (not sure Elly did!).

We finally collapsed on the picnic tables at the end and took stock. Yes we had enjoyed it and would do it again we decided – as Joseph fell in a patch of nettles!!!!! As the saying goes, you would never do anything if you truly sat and thought about it.

So ended another weekend for the Deans.

The Bravery of a Friend

2007-04-28T09:39:00.000Z

I have been privileged enough to know a certain young lady from Halifax for the last 20 years of my life. We have laughed together, cried together and had more than a few thousand beers together and she holds a special place in my life.

Unfortunately a few years ago, Charlotte developed a brain tumour, luckily it was benign and surgeons were able to remove it. One of the side effects of the operation was that she was left susceptible to epileptic fits. There have been a few blips along the way, but with the aid of drugs she has managed to remain virtually fit free.

Five weeks ago Charlotte had a major set back. She went on holiday to Goa, developed a stomach upset and this decreased the effectiveness of her epilepsy medication. On her return she suffered two seizures one after the other resulting in a stroke.

I went to see her this week in hospital. She amazed me with her courage and determination to get well. At the moment she is paralysed down one side, can’t walk and can do little for herself. Despite this she laughed with the Physiotherapists, spoke of her determination to learn to walk again and vowed that she would not be a burden on her disabled parents. She is 39 years old.

I think that when something like this happens, it puts your entire life into perspective. We can dwell on lack of sleep, lack of money and other minor issues in life. When something like this happens to someone close to you, the fact is that your health and that of those around you is the only thing that is truly important.

Potty Training!!!!!

2007-04-18T15:55:00.000Z

I am having a real picnic at the moment trying to potty train my twins. There are enough wet patches on my floor to form a shallow pond. However, my dilemma has turned out to be a really good way of cheering up my sleepy parents who have purchased the Baby Sleep System. I will recount my experiences so far to see if you think the catalogue of disasters is as funny as my knackered parents seem to.

Day 1

7.00 - Feeling full of resolve I don my 2 small boys in a pair of big boy undies.

10.15 – Appoint Ben and Caitlin as wee monitors. I had to resort to offering Ben and Caitlin a £1 prize to the first one to see a twin starting to have a wee.

3.15 - 1 X sacked twin from the potty training (cried every time he weed on his feet so have decided to concentrate on 1 at a time)

5.30 - 2 X sacked wee monitors - Ben and Caitlin proved to be easily distracted. Then they decided to make Ewan sit permanently on the potty so as to guarantee the £1. As you can imagine this went down like a lead balloon!

Tally for the day

3 X puddles
1 X poo on kitchen floor
2 X wee wees in the potty. Hurray!!

Day 2

Hub has been involved in the potty training this morning so consequently no wee has gone in the potty and all of it has gone over the floor (oh and Caitlin who was weed on while she was watching tv on a bean bag - she was unimpressed). Carl has decided that it is the potty's fault and not his so he is going to purchase a new one this afternoon!

Day 4

12.00 - We seem to have made a bit of a break through in the potty training - only 1 pair of wet trousers today. Yesterday Ewan did a huge, slimy yellow poo next to the see saw in the park though. It was worse than scooping my dogs deposits.

5.30 - Potty training gone wrong again - sloppy number 2 in undies.

Day 5

Potty training has improved a little I think. Ewan does now come and find the potty occasionally, usually after he has weed. Was at the park this morning and heard a little boy shout ugh dog poo. Ewan poo I thought and was again scooping for Britain, trying not draw anyone’s attention to it. My friends were suspiciously quiet! I am determined not to give up though.

Day 6 - Today

Potty training is in the hands of my mother, who minds the twins on a Wednesday and Thursday so I can work (I work part-time from home as well as running my website). Last I heard Ewan had done a dump, mum had trodden in it without realising it (no glasses on, she said) and had walked it around the house. Bit of a whiff in the air now! Not giving up though.

To be honest the only thing that is keeping me going is how I would tell the members of the Forum that I had given up! I really think that they are getting a bit of satisfaction from seeing me suffering along with them. My reputation would be in tatters if I gave up now!

One or two of them have even suggested that I use the twins as guinea pigs to use as material for a potty training guide. I certainly won’t be writing one, but I might buy one that somebody else has written!

Publicity and Me!

2007-04-12T14:52:00.000Z

Aggghh I really hate being in the media. Last month is was Practical Parenting, not too bad because most people in my village don't seem to read it. This month though was a different story - I was in the local paper.

I am a lucky woman because I really enjoy running Baby Sleep Answers. However, I harbour no desire to become a local celebrity. This is a small village that thrives on gossip. Somebody who appears in the local rag, really is famous for 15 minutes here. The phone has not stopped ringing and people keep calling to me across the street. I have started to adopt a low profile. Fortunately its the school holidays so I don't have to brave the playground!

Talking of fame - I have a new cute face on the website. Little Isobel who lives in West Yorkshire, is the subject of the latest sleep story. Her parents are now getting a lot more shut eye as a result of implementing the Baby Sleep System . Isobel's story can be found by clicking here .

Ugghhh Boys

2007-03-16T11:17:00.000Z

I have 3 boys. Two of them are too little to have become truly disgusting, the older one makes up for it. Here is a typical disgusting week in the life of my 7 year old:

1. Two dog muck hits on the way to school.

2. Two sets of skiddy undies. The second incident was particularly disgusting. He had put the offending underpants in the laundry basket and I had not noticed. Into the washing machine they went and onwards into the tumble drier. A rancid smell filled the house as the underpants steamed. Further investigation revealed the undies with a substantial amount of poo still attached - ugghhhh gross. The windows were opened (at 10pm), the underpants binned and the washing rewashed.

3. Not washing hands after going to the toilet - too many to count - "I forgot" was the explanation.

4. Having a dump on the toilet just as his sister gets in the shower in the same room. She was horrified as she is not gross.

5. At least five incidents of wiping his nose on his hand and transferring the result on to his school trousers.

6. Listening with relish to the description of a brain being pulled out through the nose with a hook during the Ancient Egyptian mummification process.

7. Not wiping his bottom and then sitting on the window seat in the bathroom, thus leaving a skid mark across the paintwork for his sister to discover (this was actually last week, but too good a gross story to leave out) . The explanation for this gross act was that he had forgotten to wipe his bottom. How can you forget to wipe your bottom?

Those who do not have a 7 year old little boy may think that he must have some sort of learning
disability. I was beginning to wonder myself until I discussed his grossness with some of his friends mother's. It turns out that they are just as gross.

The final verification for this happened on Wednesday, when my friends little boy ran out of school at 3.20 clutching a plastic bag. "I've pooed in my underpants" he shouted triumphantly.

Great I have two more boys!

Agghh my babies are not babies anymore!

2007-03-14T14:07:00.000Z

Well we got there, my little chaps are 2 today. As they were very premature they don't actually look 2 and they have only just gone into 18 months-2 years clothes which is a small consolation. Even so its the end of an era.

When they were born at 33 weeks gestation they had heads only slightly larger than tennis balls. They were in special care for 3 and 4.5 weeks respectively. They have had a multitude of minor problems ever since. However, they have always been happy, well settled babies who fortunately (bearing in mind my profession) have slept through the night. They have been discharged from the regular visits to the hospital and are thriving.

We are having 2 party's to celebrate their birthday. I have failed in the yummy mummy stakes as I bought the cake from Waitrose, but I am sure we will all enjoy it more than one of my creations.

Tonight I will probably shed a few tears now babyhood is behind me, but we will enter the new phase of toddlerdom and enjoy that as much as we can.

The difference between the North and South

2007-03-12T14:10:00.000Z

Those of you who follow the Forum will know that I have just been away for the weekend. As usual whenever the Deans head off anywhere it is rarely simple. This time however, Carl (hub) decided that he would have the day off work to help pack the car so Friday was not the usual mix of me running round the house screaming like a banshee and breaking into a sweat.

We had a leisurely day finishing the washing (I hate coming home to a basket full of laundry to add to the holiday pile), tidying the house (can't stand walking into a messy house either) and packing. Carl managed to get everything into the car so avoiding the usual pre-holiday roof box row (see earlier post) and took the dog to the kennels. At 3.00 we set off to pick the kids up from school and start our journey to stay with friends in Surrey.

The trip didn't start well. We got as far as Ashbourne and Ewan through up all over the car. Ashbourne is about 3 hours away from our destination! The poor little chap was stripped bare at the side of the road and bundled into his pyjamas.

At Warwick services we stopped for tea. The fish and chips that we had were the worst meal I have eaten for about 10 years. I swear they were still sitting in my stomach the following morning.

Eventually after a row on the M25 - I simply asked why Carl had selected that particular route -we reached our destination.

More bad news was to follow. Our hosts had vacated their bedroom and given it to us. Great, except we were sharing it with Ewan and Joseph. Ewan had a cough, Joseph snores louder than most adults and I make it a policy to avoid sleeping with any of my children except as a last resort. After all the reason why I became a sleep therapist was because I like my sleep without being interrupted by them! Anyway we got all the kids in bed and went downstairs to finish our evening with a spot of alcohol - Pinot Grigio.

Over the next couple of days we had a lovely time. We went to Bird World (near Frimley I think), had a walk around Lightwater country park, ate an excellent Chinese takeaway and finally met up with more friends for lunch on the Sunday. These experiences would not give cause to think that I might have noticed any regional variations between Derbyshire and the South.

Sitting here today writing this blog I have reflected on the experience and can say that the whole weekend was a complete culture shock, for this northern girl. Here is a summary of my musings:

1. The South is more expensive. No it really is:

- cost of bird world for 4 adults and 2 children (2 didn't pay) - £71.
- estimate for a flat roof repair - 8K (we have had a quote for a full roof on a listed building, using original slate tiles - 6K including the scaffolding).
- Sunday lunch - £200 for 6 adults and 4 very small children.
- Price of a pint of lager £3.20 -£2.20 in our local pub.

Total cost of weekend = £338 and the accommodation was free.

2. People in the villages around Henley-upon-Thames do not appear to speak to each other unless it is to say something unpleasant in a very posh accent. Examples include - shouting at me because my baby staggered towards her dog, tutting because we opened an external door to leave which happened to be next to 4 people eating their dinner.

3. Walking in Surrey is not strenuous - no hills and only small green spaces. I get out of breath walking to the shops round here.

4. Pinot Grigio is King - this insipid wine, appears to be very popular South of Birmingham. May we all hope that it stays there!

5. Many people have open air swimming pools in their gardens. Clearly the weather is better!

6. It is a problem to fill your swimming pool if there is a hosepipe ban - tee hee no chance of that happening to us!

So there, I am sure there are many more differences, but these are the ones that made the most impact on me.

We got back last night and I had a great nights sleep. Big bed, no snoring and no kids asleep in the close proximity. It was great to be home.

Oh to be thin!

2007-03-08T14:58:00.000Z

Yesterday I was reflecting on my pre baby figure. Even though I say so my self, it was quite good – 9 stone and toned. However, since the birth of my children I am finding it increasingly difficult to stay below 11 stone. Why is that? I suppose it goes back to that old familiar reason - I eat too much food and drink too much wine (and the occasional beer).

Post child number 2 I decided to fight the flab by taking up running. I have resumed this now my twins are approaching two. Yesterday as I plodded up a hill (they don’t call it the Peak District for nothing) with my boobs practically knocking me out and my bum slumped towards the floor I lamented on the state I have got myself in.

On Tuesday I was flogging myself half to death on the treadmill at the gym and practically collapsed into the crèche when I went to pick up the boys. The nursery nurse added insult to injury by telling me I was the image of Jane Torville – how offensive is that!

Tomorrow I must run again before setting off down South to visit friends in Surrey. These people are all childless. I am paranoid that they will be thinking she’s put a bit of weight on since she pushed those last two out.

Having said that, this lunch time I did have a very good cheese and tomato toastie, giant easter muffin and a latte (not skinny) with three sugars. So as I plod up another steep hill tomorrow I must decide whether to be happy with my body and enjoy my food or join Slimming World. I think I’ll opt for the first!

Practical Parenting Magazine

2007-03-02T11:51:00.000Z

Just a quick entry to let everyone know that the website and I are featured in the April 2007 edition of Practical Parenting Magazine. The article is about early waking. I have a few more media appearances coming soon and will let you know where you can see them.

Family are all fine. Caitlin went on a school trip to the supermarket yesterday to select the ingredients for a healthy lunch. This morning she supervised her father as he put it together! She is a very proud little girl because her dad can juggle tomatoes and bananas ooh er!

Ben is off on a healthy walk up Lantern Pike in the Peak District National Park today. He seemed less enthusiastic!

Ewan and Joseph have been for a walk - or in Joseph's case a stagger and will soon be having their afternoon nap.

All in all a nice day for everyone.

Filming in our Village

2007-02-26T09:51:00.000Z

Oooh it's all very exciting. Not very much happens in our village so the arrival of a huge film crew has sent everyone into spasm. My husband was so beside himself that he dragged me to the pub (shame!) on Friday night to do a bit of star spotting.

The programme is called Cold Blood and apparently it has Pauline Quirke and Matthew Kelly in it. I say apparently because we didn't actually see anyone famous, but at least we had a night out.

My friend is a Countryside Ranger and she is getting free breakfasts from the TV catering crew. She is also my running partner. She is going to have to run a bit flippin faster after 3 days of cooked breakfasts.

I expect I am going to be popular at about 10.50 as I need to walk straight through where they are filming to get to the twins toddler music class. Keep a look out when the Programme is aired in June for a slightly dumpy, harassed looking woman, crossing a pub car park with a large double buggy!

Five Boredom Busting Activities For Children

2007-02-22T16:01:00.000Z

Blimy didn't realise it had been this long since I last wrote in this blog. First I had a really bad cold that refused to go, then we had more snow - makes life difficult in this neck of the woods. Then it was half term and I had to find something to keep my brood fully occupied. This was in addition to my usual work through the website and the various other 'sleep expert' things that are ongoing. Anyway here I am again.

I decided to make this entry useful for those who have toddlers and school aged children and have to find something for them to do. Here is our itinerary for half term week:

1. Eureka in Halifax, West Yorkshire - this is a museum especially for children. It is really good for all children from around 9 months old. There are pre-school activities, a couple of soft play areas and exhibits which follow the infant and junior national curriculum e.g. parts of the body. Everything can be touched and there are some great gimicks such as a talking robot (lady is hiding in another room). I was waiting for Jeremy Beadle to appear.

2. Picnic in the park. Just went to the local park but took a picnic to make it more exciting.

3. Library - again stayed local, but they have a storytime session that passes a bit of time on. Got into a bit of a sweat tidying up after the twins.

4. Viking Festival - York 14-18 Feb. Great fun. Loads to see and do and most of it free or for a nominal charge. Also had afternoon tea at Betty's Tea Rooms - yum yum. Surprisingly child friendly as well. Even with my tribe.

5. Swimming - bit of a hassle, but good fun when your in. Its the getting changed and dressed which is the nightmare.

That's it for now. Oh went to see Charlottes web - I cried when the spider died!

Great Week

2007-02-08T11:17:00.000Z

I am having a good week this week. Several of my clients have been successful in getting their baby's to sleep through the night and have posted great reviews on the Forum. I have been recruited to provide expert advice at experts@about.com. There are clearly a lot of desperate parents out there using the service and I am getting a great deal of job satisfacton out of helping them.

The children and I had some press photographs taken on Sunday and they have turned out really well. Keep a lookout for them in the newspapers and on the website.

The kids are off school today because of the snow so we are going to go and do a spot of sledging this afternoon. I'm not sure who will enjoy it more them or me.

Not much more to report. Hope everyone has a great week too.

Baby Sleep Answers Forum is a Great Success

2007-02-05T13:39:00.000Z

After a worryingly slow start, the support Forum on www.babysleepanswers.co.uk has finally come into its own. There are a number of threads on there which follow the progress of clients using the Baby Sleep System. Most of them now have baby's who sleep through the night.

Due to the success of the website generally, I am going to be featured in a number of news stories over the next few weeks in the local and national press. I will keep you posted as they appear.

Why it’s not a good idea to swim with twins

2007-02-05T13:35:00.000Z

Last week I decided to take the twins swimming (on my own). I had managed to convince myself that it would be easier now they are a bit bigger. To be fair it didn’t start well and most other people would have perhaps taken the hint and decided against it – not me though!

I had realised as I loaded myself up in the icy car park with my gym bag, the baby change bag, 2 rubber rings, 2 sets of armbands, 3 towels and 2 small boys that I must resemble a wagon train mule. I staggered into the leisure centre, managed to pay, turned round and noted that my 2 little angels were nowhere to be seen. They had beetled off round the corner as fast as their little legs could carry them. I hared after them screeching like a banshee. Eventually I managed to get them contained in the family changing rooms. I secured 2 lockers and got Ewan changed into his aqua nappy. I was just starting on Joseph when I hard a splashing sound behind me. Ewan was staring at his feet as a stream of wee hosed out of the side of the aforementioned swim wear. Joseph staggered over to investigate and skidded through the wee onto his bottom. I did the only thing I could do under the circumstances and mopped up with my gym kit – uggghhh gross. Eventually after a chorus of screaming because they didn’t like having their arms forced into arm bands (I still remember my mum doing that to me) we set off in the direction of the swimming pool.

Now getting into a swimming pool with two rather naughty little boys is a bit tricky, particularly if you are trying to do with it any kind of decorum. You have to drop small boy number 1 into his rubber ring whilst stopping small boy number 2 from attempting to jump in. I wedged Ewan on the step with my knee and skilfully popped Joseph into the ring in the water. An almighty howl came from Joseph as he suddenly realised the water was cold. Ewan then tried to make a run for it, before he too was catapulted from the steps into his ring. We were now the entertainment for the rest of the pool who had up until now been swimming sedately up and down, no doubt trying to relax. In an effort to shut my two screaming boys up, I started to shout doopey, doopey, doopey doo as I dragged them by their rings up the pool. “whaaaaa” reverberated around the glass roof. “doopey, whaaaa, doopey, whaaaa” it was all starting to get a bit embarrassing. We were joined in the nick of time by another mother with a medium sized baby. Ewan and Joseph were distracted enough to stop howling. Joseph decided to start shivering instead. It was now inevitable that several people were going to report me to the NSPCC Full Stop Campaign for making a very thin boy go swimming in arctic conditions.
We managed to stick it out for another 10 minutes before managing to haul ourselves back up the steps and return to the changing rooms. It was my turn to shiver whilst I dried and dressed my boys. I made the sensible decision to skip a shower and when we arrived home I treated myself to a well deserved lie down. What did I learn from this experience?
1) Wait another year before trying again;
2) Sometimes the sympathy I get from the people around me is well deserved;
3) Joseph needs to get a bit more blubber on him.

Oh well another adventure in the life of a multiple mum.

School Disco

2007-01-29T20:05:00.000Z

I have now recovered from the infant school disco that took place last Friday - yes it has taken until now! I have to say that on a Friday night I like to get my kids in bed, light a fire, drink a glass of wine and recover from my week. Not this Friday.
I had received the letter seeking support for this annual PTA event. I had secreted it away and was hopeful that my older children might forget about it. There were 2 hopes, no hope and Bob Hope. I cautiously suggested that they might prefer not to go - I was greeted by outrage and uproar. Reluctantly I resigned myself to a night out on the tiles in the school hall.

The first challenge was to convince my 5 year old daughter that she did not need a 'relaxing bath' before she got ready. I lost that argument and Caitlin reclined in a deep bath filled with my very expensive bath oil. I went to feed the twins but could not manage to disguise my horror when Caitlin swanned down the stairs in a baby pink strappy summer number which she clearly had every intention of going out in. There was snow on the ground outside! I was obliged to give her a personal fashion consultation that involved mixing and matching the entire contents of Cait's drawers, but at least she finally selected something that would not result in hypothermia. Of course after this she had to have her hair put into a french plait, her nails done, full make up and matching accessories. The ritual was concluded by a liberal squirt of my best perfume. Did I mention the child is 5.

In contrast to this my son shoved on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and moaned that he had to have his hair brushed. I went out looking like a harassed mother of 4 who had not even bothered to brush her hair

Now I love my kids, but I am not necessarily enamoured with other people's. The screaming and screeching that greeted us as we slithered across the icy playground was not encouraging. The hall was bedlam. Small boys were running across the floor and then falling to their knees to slide gracefully for a further 6 feet. Little girls were dressed up to the nines, faces covered in their mothers make-up. "Can I have a coke" my son demanded. He knows that he isn't allowed coke, but as there was nothing healthier on offer than a diet coke, I had little choice but to buy him one. He swigged it back with a satisfied slurp and went off to find his friends. He returned in tears 2 minutes later "my friend slid across the floor on his knees and knocked me over". After this I didn't see much of my small children. They had sussed that the DJ was handing out sweets and practically attached themselves to her leg. Nobody else's children seemed to be quite so intent on rotting their teeth. I managed to hang on in there for the 1 hour duration surrounded by glamorous looking mums who had no doubt put themselves through the same ritual as Caitlin. I even avoided the final dance to YMCA which apparently parents were supposed to join in with. I am getting on a bit, but I'm not that old!

Snowed up!

2007-01-23T19:30:00.000Z

What a day! On Sunday it snowed and it snowed quite a lot. On Monday it stopped snowing but the roads were knee deep in snow so I decided not to bother going out anywhere in the car. This morning however, I had arranged for my friend to take my older children to school so that I could get to the gym for 9.00 (still trying to get rid of the Christmas fat) . I had booked my creche slot for the twins for 9-10 and I was optimistic. All five of us piled into the car at 8.25. The plan was to drive round the corner, deposit Ben and Caitlin and continue on to the gym for an hour of pleasant sweating. Unfortunately I had not factored in the 8 inches of snow that was stuck (quite literally) to my windscreen. I grabbed a stiff broom. The bristled end made no impact. "We can't see out of the window", my helpful daughter screeched from the back seat. I turned the broom round and hacked with the handle. Some movement, but it was going to take some time.
"Right Ben and Caitlin, get out of the car" I screeched. Trevor (a neighbour who was attempting to grit the road) "can you watch the twins". "Hurry up" we pegged it through the house, slithered down the hill and met up with my rather cross looking mate. "Sorry I'm snowed in" was the only response I could come up with.
Upon returning to the car I set about my hacking with the broom in an effort to liberate my windscreen wipers. After 30 minutes and a good dousing of deicer I finally managed to clear enough glass to make it safe to drive. It was now 9.00. I put the car in gear and tried to move forward - no joy. The snow I had cleared from the windscreen had formed a large snowy dam and the car was stuck. Really fed up by now, I reversed and slammed on the accelerator. Success I was over the bump.
On the way I got stuck behind the bin waggon and then in an unexplained traffic jam and finally reached the gym at 9.35. Little Ewan slithered across the car park (he can walk better than Joseph, who invariably gets himself carried) and we landed in the creche. "Were full at 10" the helpful creche assistant supplied. "Right I'm off" I said as I headed for the gym with the sound of Joseph's screaming ringing in my ears. I jumped on the treadmill and ran like my life depended on it. I was hell bent on ensuring that I made the most of my 20 minutes as it was costing me a fiver. At 10 I returned to the creche and was greeted by a screaming Ewan. Apparently Joseph had given up and Ewan had picked up where he had left off. "Do they not go to nursery" the assistant asked. For a second I was struck by the irony of the guilt I was experiencing. Its usually people who put their children in nurseries who feel like this. "No" I said. "Aren't you working anymore?". Blimey this was turning into an interview. Four children under 7 isn't seen as work. "I work from home now" I felt like I was justifying my existence.

When we finally arrived home I felt like I had run a marathon. I was having problems accessing Baby Sleep Answers because the broadband was playing up and I had an urgent consultation via the Forum. I was also anxious to see if Welsh baby Owen had succumbed and was now sleeping through the night. That poor mother is doing absolutely everything right and the little minx is still waking every three hours. If he's not sleeping by the end of next week I'm going to drive to Wales and give her her money back in person!

Here's to a better tomorrow!

How I became a sleep expert

2007-01-17T10:43:00.000Z

A lot of people have asked me how I came to write a book about baby sleep and ultimately why people consult me for advice. Well its a bit of a long story. Prior to having my children I worked as a researcher and policy maker for various organisations including:
o Manchester University
o Merseyside Police Authority and Liverpool City Council
o Stockport MBC and GMP
o Various other local authorities e.g. Bolton B.C and Basingstoke Council

During the course of this full time work, I studied part time and gained a Masters and a Ph.D in Social Policy at the University of Manchester.

In 1999 I delivered the first of my 4 children and life was never the same again. As I explain on my website that first baby was a totally life changing experience. I was having terrible trouble getting him to go to sleep and so I did what any veteran researcher would do in similar circumstances. I set about finding out everything I could about baby sleep and in particular, how I myself could get some. I devised my own system based on the work of
- Richard Ferber
- Elizabeth Pantley
- Tracy Hogg
- Lyn Quine
- Millpond Sleep Clinic

+ others.

When my second child came along I developed the system a bit more and had a sleeping child within a matter of weeks.

I went back to work when my second child was around 12 weeks old to work as a lecturer at the University of Derby and studied part time for a P.G.C.E in adult education.

As a sideline I began to run sleep 'clinics', mainly for friends and family at my home. These sessions enabled me to combine my research skills, teaching skills and parenting skills. In 2006 I established www.babysleepanswers.co.uk to enable me to reach more people who were not comfortable seeking the advice they needed from their own health professionals.

I still offer one to one consultations, but can provide a much cheaper option via on line support using a Forum for purchasers of the Baby Sleep System.

The website has become very popular and word is spreading. I am still getting a massive amount of job satisfaction from helping people to get a good nights sleep.

Practical Parenting Magazine

2007-01-15T14:50:00.000Z

Had a stressful day today. Ewan and Joseph were being particularly naughty even for them. Every time I turned my back they were up to more mischief. The final straw was when Joseph decided to empty my handbag and squash the contents into my boots. We arrived at the pre-school music group 15 minutes early!

This afternoon I was interviewed for Practical Parenting Magazine. They wanted a sleep expert to give advice on early waking. This can be a big problem for the 10-15% of parents who have a natural 'lark' who wakes up bright and breezy at 5.00am every morning. However, most early wakers experience other sleep related problems as well and this group can be helped. I'm not sure of the publication date yet, but am looking forward to seeing the full article. One of my ex-clients is providing the parent perspective and a photo of her very attractive child.

Oh well back to the daily grind. School run, Bens recorder lesson and wait for the shopping to arrive. The delivery time is between 5 and 7. Hope its closer to 5 or the kids will have to have beans for tea!

Shopping Trolley's

2007-01-09T13:23:00.000Z

I have just returned from Tesco and am far from happy. I spend a lot of money in Tesco's. Today I spent £40 on petrol and £140 on groceries. When I turn up there I fully expect to find a shopping trolley which will allow me to do my family shop. For some reason Tesco have decided to reduce the number of toddler twin shopping trolly's which is fine if you don't happen to have 2 twins that need to go in one. When I went to seek some customer service from the inappropriately named "Customer Services" I was looked at like as if I had asked for the earth. Eventually when it became clear that I was not about to be fobbed off, a trolley man was called. He found me one, but before I had time to point out that the harness was broken, he had taken off. Not wishing to return to the sour faced individual behind the desk I made do and hoped that the twins were securely wedged enough not to be able to climb out. I am going to write a letter of complaint and demand some Clubcard points as compensation!

Anyway enough of that. What is happening with Baby Sleep Answers? Well since I started advertising on Google, the Forum has finally started to be put to its intended use. I am able to offer all sorts of assistance for parents of babies of 8 weeks up to 3 years old. I am hoping that other users of the System will start to support the people posting on the Forum. I will have to wait and see.

I am also expanding the number of product reviews after a request from several customers. So watch this space!

The trouble with routine!

2007-01-06T12:26:00.000Z

After all of the problems outlined in the previous post, we finally arrived at Center Parcs (on the way deciding that we really had to buy a book of games to play in the car). We had a dilemma as to who was to sleep where (Nana has to go to the toilet 5 times through the night and snores very loudly, Joseph also snores very loudly). In the end we decided that nana could have the splendid isolation of her own room with en suite, Ben and Caitlin could share, Carl and I would shove 2 twins together in the third bedroom and Ewan and Joseph could sleep in cots on the mezzanine landing (Ewan is used to Josephs snoring, while the rest of us are not). After a few sandwiches and having unpacked it was time for the kids to get ready for bed. We stuck rigidly to our normal bedtime routine of bath, book, milk and down. We turned the lights off in the lounge because Ewan was spying at us through the bars of the cot and the mezzanine balustrade(you can't blame the little fellow for wanting to see what he was missing out on). Once he could no longer see us, all the children went to sleep quickly.

After a fun packed second and third day, full of sleep inducing activities such as football, cycling and horse riding, New Years Eve arrived. We had booked a table at a party taking place in the main sports hall starting at 8pm. We hoped that Ben and Caitlin would make it through to midnight and that the twins would sleep in their pram - yeh right! The table that we had been allocated was close to the bar, but out of view of the dance floor. We could hardly get drunk being in charge of 4 kids and an 81 year old so the table was not best placed. The older children kept disappearing out of sight, causing nana to panic, protest loudly and need the toilet more frequently. The twins had discovered a great gift for tunnelling (under all the surrounding tables) and Carl had just paid £2 for a kids orange juice and was being very vocal about it. We left at 10.00! What have I learnt from this experience?

1. Don't take kids to a New Years Eve party and expect to have a good time.
2. My children are so programmed to their bedtime routine that if its not there they don't go to sleep.
3. Don't sit nana down further than 5 metres away from the nearest toilet so that she can find her own way there.

Oh well another Christmas passes and life continues at its usual hectic pace.

"Pack the Car"

2007-01-02T16:14:00.000Z

There may well be quite a few spelling mistakes on this entry as I am shattered. We have just returned from Whinfell Forest Center Parcs where we had a fun but rather exhausting New Year Break. On top of my own 4 kids + husband we had decided to take my frail 81 year old nana. She used to be a super help, but has now become somewhat infirm and more than a bit confused.
I start with a description of the journey. Packing to go is always an experience that usually involves a row between myself and hub and this time was no exception. It suddenly became my fault whan my husbands one job (or so he thought) became 15. I have concluded that our rows are genetic in nature. There is a comunication gap with the way that women give an instruction and men interpret that instruction. To me "sort the car out" means the following:

- fill up with fuel
- check the tyres
- put some screen wash in
- put the roof box on
- fill the roof box
- put the bikes on and the helmets in the car
- Put the 7th seat in so that nana has somewhere to sit
- Get the double buggy in the car
- squash the rest of the luggage in round the kids once they are seated
- leave a space for nanas bag (and indeed nana) for when we pick her up.

All this seems to be quite straight forward and I was heartened that Carl gave himself a good headstart and started the job 2 days early (usually he begins an hour before the expected departure time). He went to get petrol, checked the oil and bought some screen wash. He then came home and assumed he had sorted out the car.
The following morning, I suspiciously asked if he had found the bike rack. Oh he said and headed for the shed. Surprise surprise the rack we had didn't fit. Carl headed to Halfords muttering. He spent £59.99 (and couldn't understand why I was a bit annoyed) and spent the rest of the afternoon swearing under his breath and trying to get the roof box and the new bike rack on the roof. Eventually he marched back to the house, took the double buggy apart and rammed it into the boot. One of the kids bikes was stuck on top of it. I merely commented that the bike rack was hardly good value for money if it was only suitable for 1 bike at a cost of £59.99. The bike was only £20 off ebay. Apparently the problem lay not with hubs purchase but with the roof box(which of course I had bought).
The following day the packing the car saga continued with many references to the roof box being too small and us having too many kids, but eventually with a great deal of direction fom me we were ready to go. The middle aged lady from next door tried not to laugh as the last child was wedged in and I staggered up the steps with a football, my slippers and some last minute essentials i.e. the washing up liquid, the baby bag and a couple of bottles of milk.
Off we set to pick up my nana and to have a spot of lunch before our long jouney from Derbyshire to Cumbria.

To be continued

First day of the school holidays

2006-12-20T16:28:00.000Z

Well today 2 became 4 as the school holidays began. I now have to fit my busy work schedule around 4 rather than 2 children. Fortunately my dad came to the rescue and took Ben and Caitlin to the pictures to see Happy Feet. Apparently its very good.

I have gone into free fall panic. I am going to need to monitor my clients over the New Year period and we are off to the Lake District - not the best place to log onto the www. The technical department thinks they may have come up with a system of allowing me to log on using my mobile. Sounds a bit hit and miss to me!

Got my girlie mates round tonight for a few glasses of wine to celebrate the festive season. Looking forward to a good chinwag.

Lying for Christmas

2006-12-18T20:07:00.000Z

I have amazed myself at the lengths that I am prepared to go to maintain the street cred of Santa Claus with my children. Last year Ben was beginning to ask some very awkward questions because other children had told him there was no such thing as Father Christmas. Threatened with "he doesn't come to unbelievers", Ben seems to have decided that it is in his best interests to keep stum this year rather than risk it. However, at 5 and 7 my kids are savvy enough to realise that it is impossible for Father Christmas to be in so many places at the same time for the pre- Christmas Santa visit. I have now told them that there is only one real Father Christmas, but that he hires out Santa Suits to others so that all children can go and visit someone who looks like him. The way to detect if it is the real one or a pretend one is to examine the beard at close quarters, a false beard = a false Santa. However, if the beard is genuine and he knows your name you are one of the lucky few to see the real thing.

This weekend required Ben and Caitlin to use their best detective skills. At the infant Christmas party, Caitlin peered at Santa so intently that the poor man started to look quite disconcerted - "Mr Crompton" (the Reception Teachers husband) Caitlin announced when I collected her at 3.20.

On Saturday we headed for Tatton Park in Cheshire to see the Santa at the farmyard. The man at the payment booth into the car park explained to us all that Santas reindeer were stayng in the park for a few days to rest up before the hard work on Christmas Eve. He said that we might be lucky enough to spot them. We parked the car and made our way to the farm. We managed to get there at 10.55 and were first in the queue (I can't stand queing up). At 11.00 my children were duly frogmarched into the yard in search of Santa. Nobody was allowed to stop to admire the animals, lest we should have to queue. Unfortunately we took a wrong turn and ended up at the exit to the grotto. We retraced our steps and eventually found the door (damn two people were now in front of us). After a short wait we were shown in to see the Man. Well that was the theory. I couldn't get the pushchair in and had to go round via the exit. I was just in time to hear Ben ask for something that I haven't bought him and to see Caitlin stick her head to one side to see if his beard was attached to his ears with elastic. Ewan took one look at Santa and screamed the place down and Joseph was considering whether to join in. Finally they all got the gift and we were able to make our escape. "Pretend one" announced Caitlin at the top of her voice.

After that we visited the donkeys who had tinsel attractively draped through their ears (found out that Ewan is terrified of donkeys as well as Father Christmas). We looked at the nativity scene and both children impressed me with their knowledge of the cast. Ben and Caitlin painted a festive picture and all 4 had a go on the merry go round.

On the way home we drove around the park and found Santas reindeer. There was no doubt in my children's minds that they were the real thing. Was it a good day? - certainly. Was it value for money? Make up your own mind. £4 to park the car, £15 to see Santa, £2 for drinks, £4 for the merry go round, £10 for Macdonalds on the way home, plus the petrol to drive across 2 counties. Still the magic of christmas is short lived for children (and their parents) and I intend to keep coming up with more ingenius lies to prolong it for as long as possible.

Funny Old Day

2006-12-15T13:45:00.000Z

You know when you are just having one of those days that is kind of peculiar. Well I am having one of those. Why is it funny? You might not think it is, but it feels it:

1. Blow dried hair this morning. Got wet when I took the dog out. This doesn't seem odd as it is always raining here, but I can't understand why I dried my hair in the first place. I don't usually if its raining.
2. Met 2 friends whilst out with dog. Briefly expressed my concern about said dog taking nips out of people if she doesn't like the look of them. I have now been referred to a dog psychiatist - hate to think how much that is going to cost!
3. Went to toddler group at local church. Proceeded to tell vicar all about the great jokes I had heard from another vicar earlier in the week at a carol service. Even said I'd write them down for him. Why did I do that? He looked a bit downcast and helped himself to a some fudge. He offerred me a bit, probably in the vain hope that it might glue my jaws together.

Its stil only 1.55 in the afternoon. What other funny events will occur?

With regard to Baby Sleep Answers. We met our sales target for the first time yesterday. I am still waiting for a user to get back to me about a query she had about her cot hating son. I needed some clarification about his age, so I have not put a proper reply in yet. I worry that people might think I don't want to answer. In this game you have to be very careful that the advice you give is safe and stands a good chance of being effective.

Oh well I will continue with my bizarre day.

The infant nativity play

2006-12-14T12:23:00.000Z

Well the nativity play was a great success. My chief Angel performed beautifully and my Roman soldier organised the little soldiers by giving them a good shove when it was time for them to march. The highlight of the performance was the 2 dancing camels. I fear that little Archie Critchlow will never live it down.

Just had the first of my 2 Christmas Tesco deliveries. The idea was to get all the normal shopping today, in bulk to get me to the other side of Christmas. I spent £214 and it doesn't look that much. Mind you the wine was looking fairly substantial! I've got another delivery coming next week with the Christmas grub and the beer. I am trying to make Christmas as stress free as possible this year. I will let you know if I succeed.

We are doing well on our get some sleep for Christmas campaign we have sold 200 Baby Sleep Systems this month. That's a lot of satisfied customers in the New Year.

The Meaning of Christmas

2006-12-13T13:04:00.000Z

Went to a carol service last night that was advertised under the above title. As well as the usual carols, passages from the Bible and sermon, there were quite a few good jokes. The best was about what would have happened if the 3 wise men had been wise women:

1. They would have been on time because they would have stopped to ask for directions.
2. They would have taken a casserole.
3.They would have tidied up and helped out with the Delivery.
4. They would have given much more useful gifts than gold, francincense and mhyrr.

Very good.

I am going to the Infant Christmas play tonight and a looking forward to it. Caitlin is the Chief Angel. The Chief bit is very important! She says that the little Angels from the reception class are little devils and that they keep chattering. Ben (who is a Roman soldier) says Caitlins Angel dance is rubbish. Great support for his sibling. Oh well tonight we will see the result of all that line rehearsal.

The Forum at Baby Sleep Answers has started to pick up. I'm glad about that as I am sure it can offer people real support. We have had a few hitches with the site over the last week, I'm starting to get a bit panicky as we are away over Christmas and won't have access to the Internet to fix it if something goes wrong. Hopefully it will be okay.

Oh well back to work I have an appointment with a nursery this afternoon where I am running a session for parents on baby sleep.

Tired, tired, tired

2006-12-11T20:54:00.000Z

Yes I am tired. Just like many people who sign up for the Baby Sleep System. Christmas is getting to me and we are not even there yet. Christmas party hats have had to be made for children number 1 and 2. The same children want to send Christmas cards to everyone in their class - fine but easier if they could spell!
Last minute shopping still needs to be done. I am determined not to be in Tesco's on Christmas Eve so the menus for the next 2 weeks have to be planned fastidiously so all the shopping arrives on a van.
Twin 2 has turned into the devil incarnate and is at best unco-operative and some days seems certain to end up in a young offenders institution. Twin 1 seems to be developing yet another cold and so will probably drop below the second percentile that he hangs onto by his finger tips. I am also about to start a campaign to get 250 families to have a full nights sleep by Christmas. A worthy aim, but a big responsibility as well. Oh well, the infant Christmas play is on Wednesday and so the joy of being a mother of young children at Christmas will start to kick in. I'm sure I'm not alone so good luck to us all.

It finally stopped raining

2006-12-08T13:25:00.000Z

Yippee, just as I thought the SAD was moving in, the sun came out. I have been for a really lovely 3 mile walk this morning with the twins, dog and my good friend Emma. We saw sheep, horses and a Heron. I feel more cheerful than I have done for days.

I arrived back to more good news. One purchaser of the Baby Sleep System (a lady called Nicole, with a 6 month old son) started to implement it on Monday and had her first full nights sleep last night. Her and her husband are absolutely delighted.

The Forum doesn't appear to be going too well. Clients seem embarrassed to put their progress into the public domain. They are emailing me direct instead. I don't mind, but think they would benefit from some peer suppport.

Oh well the weekend begins tonight. Off to see Father Christmas at Pooles Cavern in Buxton tomorrow. The twins will probably scream the place down. Caitlin has a theory that you can tell the real Father Christmas from a dressed up one by pulling his beard. I hope she doesn't!

The Joy of Christmas

2006-12-07T14:45:00.000Z

Am I the only one out there who finds Christmas a bit of a bind. I keep being told that with 4 young children, Xmas must be lovely in my house. Christmas Day it is, but the run up to it is an exhausting experience. My oldest boy is also getting a bit savvy. Last year he asked several hundred times if there was such a thing as Father Christmas. This year, I suspect that he no longer believes but has decided that it is in his best interests to keep stum. He has also turned into a bit of a super sleuth and the hiding of presents is getting complicated. What's that? Who's that for? Why hasn't that gone to Father Christmas? etc etc etc.

Yesterday I decided to do more work to do less next year and typed up all my Christmas Card addresses. I then had to remember how to do a mail merge and of course the Office World address labels I had weren't the same as the ones on the drop down menu. I daren't pester my husband as he is the technical brain behind Baby Sleep Answers and is fed up enough of me as it is. After a lot of huffing and puffing, false starts and addresses that were half on the neighbouring label, I finally managed it. I could have written my Christmas cards for the next 3 years in the amount of time it took me.

Still I have a Christmas Dinner in the pub, a holiday at Centre Parcs for New Year and a good feeling that some of my clients will be getting a full nights sleep on Christmas Eve for the first time ever this year. What's a few address labels!

Bad Day

2006-12-05T20:13:00.000Z

Day started very badly. It was tipping it down with rain, had to take the kids to school and the dog for a walk. Rain cover on the buggy decided to rip into shreds so the twins got wet.

Arrived at the local twins club after stopping to blow my flat tyre up en route (I don't really want to add car maintenance to my repertoire, but hub seems to be in no hurry to sort out that new tyre to replace the one with the nail!). When I arrived I was grilled about my motives for starting www.babysleepanswers.co.uk. Some people just can't understand why I am not in it for commercial gain, but out of a genuine desire to help desparate parents. The final icing on the cake was the comment that "sleep problems might be genetic". Okay so in some very rare cases they might be, but most exhausted families would simply benefit from a bit of support!

After this wonderful chat, my poor boys then had to go for the latest vaccination. It must be terrible to see your brother scream and then have to go through the same experience yourself!

When I finally sat down at my PC to check up on my clients I had the first good news of the day. Someone who had been using the Baby Sleep System for only 3 days had reported their first full nights sleep in 2 years. Now I know why I do this!

My elation was dispelled at 3.45 when Ben and Caitlin were begging me to purchase their own design Xmas Cards organised for sale by the school. 2 packets each x £5 = £20. I wouldn't mind so much if I hadn't already bought my cards. Tried to flog my mum a couple of packets, but she's already written hers.

PS If anyone knows where I can buy online a new double raincover for my 3 wheeler I would really appreciate it. Most online stores stock singles and Shade a Babe - not a big demand for these in the Peak District in December!

Online support for tired parents

2006-12-04T19:26:00.000Z

What a horrible wet day. I had a great time (not) struggling to school, walking the dog, struggling back to school, going out again to oldest boys recorder lesson and all this with a pram with a puncture!
Made good progress on the site today though. I am going to add a Forum that purchasers of the Baby Sleep System will be able to use to get some extra support. There will also be a new Sleep News section and more useful articles. I'm hoping that this will all be done by the end of the week, but my technical department are looking sceptical. I will attempt to bribe them with an early Christmas present!

Child crying until it was sick

2006-12-01T14:21:00.000Z

Today I counselled a family who were really struggling to get their 2 year old child to go to sleep. He was crying so much when they put him in bed that he made himself sick. We went through the Bbay Sleep System to see where they were going wrong. The problem lay in a lack of consistancy. Now we've identified the problem I'm hopeful that things will be different tonight.

Hard days planning

2006-11-30T20:31:00.000Z

Spent most of the day today working with my business mentor Netta. She is brilliant if you need one. Have a look at www.management-matters.co.uk we decided that my site needs some news stories to keep parents involved on the latest sleep related research. We have also decided to restrict the Forum to those people who have purchased the Baby Sleep System. These are the people who need real support and the Forum will mean that everybody is in the same boat together.

One to one mentoring

2006-11-29T20:06:00.000Z

29th November

Today I had a one to one mentoring session with a lady called Lynda. She has been using the Baby Sleep System for about a week, but is finding it difficult because she is attempting to get a baby and a toddler to sleep through at the same time. Having discussed what is going wrong, we looked at the routine that she has put together and made some minor adjustments. We decided that with these adjustments, her baby should settle better tonight. Her older son, however, was going to require a bit more work. I suggested that she tried a reward scheme that I have reviewed on the web site. I arranged to meet with her at the same time next week.

The campaign to get more sleep related advice into post and ante-natal groups is progressing. In the next few days, there should be a campaign page on www.babysleepanswers.co.uk so that all my clients can follow the progress.

The new Forum is also getting very busy, particularly the support section which helps people who are currently implementing the Baby Sleep System.

The Story So Far

2006-11-28T15:12:00.000Z

28th November 2006

Since having my first baby back in 1999 I have become increasingly disappointed with the support given to parents around the issue of their baby and toddler sleep problems. It has been well documented that post-natal depression can in a high % of cases be linked to lack of sleep. It seems to have become the “norm” to teach parents that they must expect no sleep and that the baby will eventually sleep through when it is ready. This advice may well be accurate in the first weeks or months of a babies life, but by the time the child is 6 months old they may have developed habits that mean it could be years before they ‘go through’.

I believe that teaching about baby’s sleep should be an integral part of all ante-natal classes. Parents should be given spoken and written advice about techniques to use that will get their babies to sleep through the night quicker. I also believe that post-natal support classes should be offered for parents who are struggling because of their own lack of sleep. For these reasons I have established the Baby Sleep System and the web site that hosts it www.babysleepanswers.co.uk. The Baby Sleep System is also available as a training course for groups of up to 12 at a venue near you. See the website for details.